ck Shen Ke Log ( 67-75 )

12 / 4 (2006/12/04)

I do not mind the fact you do not love me.

I do not mind the fact I do not love you.

I do not mind if you lie to me.

I do not mind if I prevaricate to you.

I do not mind you have a few women.

friends that I do not mind me narcissism.

I do not idea what kind of person you are.

I do not even need to know any of your things.



just because you are willing to companion me that day a small chat.

just because you always ask if I have to eat, sleep good.

just because you suddenly mention to me.

just because you told me good night ahead going to bed I love you.

just because your eyes For a moment it looks like him.


I am willing,GHD Dark Styler Straighteners,
with you.

and quietly maintain this relationship.
voicelessly like you. 12/11 (2006/12/11)

start overeating.
eat many, many things.
stone bombard when the pain can be dragged desperately grasped all things.
complete pain vowed not eat on their own,
do not let sentiments control desire.
still the same the next day.

I'm hungry.
really hungry.
hungry.
matter much my stomach was stuffed full of even make it, take the acidic water.
still hungry.

I can not stand this hunger.

morning, morning, noon, p.m., evening, night, night, early morning.
at the peak of the recess down, I must reserve looking for edible to fill his own.
fruit yogurt cheese biscuit cake cookies bonbon sweet chestnut Phi Sasha La Pine
hand enough to get all the food
all regardless of if patriotic to eat the sweet before the
all eat salty.

strictly deterred by doctors to shirk greasy.
so it should be safe.


work to go back in the door smoking, Margaret Chabot them. Xie Wen
be met.
literally screaming.
say how do you squatting here. Fast, fast, stand up.
seems like this drug, oh.

I stood up, looked at her dizziness.
she began to entanglement.

I had to return to squatting on the ground, suddenly irritable death. Xie Wen
I looked up to her gently that you do not talk to me now please.
her mouth suddenly stopped, a little surprised, mortified and looked at me and said, oh.
then walked away.


night to melodrama billiards.
feel back.

bath family, or be thoughtful not to touch the breast.
breast ring finally listen to the crab, pick up.
repeated abscess.
white when I hurt.
dry.

tongue bulging was eventually complete.
good.
good.
others like a week, I literally spent two months. Another World (2006/12/15)

seems that some people suddenly pressed the radio clasp.
all loud abruptly stopped.
muffle around to some perversion.



somebody jumped down from upstairs.

favor a flesh and blood fraught the old toy, was thrown from a altitude at irregular.
lumbering across an arc, to issue a blunt sound when falling objects.
without warning.
odd position to extend the ground.


he tried to move the body.
attempting to point the sound issue.
his mouth wide open so huge.
but only to escalator the heavy hand with all his strength.
slow and misrepresented arched fingertips,GHD Purple Gift Set, you absence to erase neat a Unit a while back the jaws of dark blood.
a moment his face looks like a child eating candy in the mouth after touching the side of the syrup, while the naive and rapacious to ask her mother to the second teeth as candy.

side of his head slightly prejudiced.
body like a heap of mutton gone bad knowledge, motionless.
This seems at odds.
like sub-home two unrelated asset, rigidly connected together.

and emits dark red liquid, this time with some viscous stuff.
and head around the splash, and also stretch the scatter of shine red fluid, the formation of bright contrast.

his face no longer have that child.
make love like a man she nice afterward that moment. Ferocious and barbaric.
turned over the dirty looks, in a strange competence to fast shake. Then quickly disabling.

he once again tried to sound.
this little success.
he sent in a raucous and lingering sadness. Rolling sound in the larynx.
hand is still headstrong in his mouth mechanically polished.

Adam's apple is about imperceptible twitch a few times.
his efforts to reinstate some perception seems, but to no avail.
these organs do not like in this moment of his own.
also or too bitter, he even can not afford to groan.

wording back again a few seconds before wiping his mouth that syrup children.
like a infant and her mother did not like to receive due candy, angry, and exhausted as.
slowly closed his eyes.



sound back.
wall of sound from the car, far cries of hawkers
conversation sound, scream, cry dooming the formation of a murmuring web, accompanied at overwhelming the eardrum.

a patient stuck his head out the window upstairs, pointing to the cement floor under the man, hee titter.
flew over a patient, meantime screams,GHD IV Styler Straighteners, then your eyes broad open, his face was no trace of horror, pretentiously cried the nurse.
withdrew to the tree side of a patient, squatted big mouth retching up. While angrily swore rude words.
a patient playing with clothes, lazily to the side with a peep, like just have someone step on a putrid orange, as then deadpanned back to continue basking in the sun to concentrate on violin with clothing or jewelry line.


several doctors with nurses and remedial staff upstairs carrying a stretcher down.
rapid, tranquilize, even with Jisi impatience.


people suddenly began to rise.

then I have been a couple of lukewarm hands and blindfolded.
mind a blank.









I natty these days to see.


teams of young people, old crouching listlessly waiting appearance the dark room, waiting to receive psychiatric hospital management are free in the house every day with a restricted delivery of methadone.
I stood at the entrance so with boats.
the nearest male, dressing merely a skinny cotton shirt, sleeves coiled up, casually rubbing the eye of a pin full of the arm. Grimace in pain.
I like the knee-jerk, along to tighten his arm.
two people looked up at me and asked me which one is not new to nurses.
I shook my head.
they whistled.


3 floor.
a drooling looks handsome boy holding a muddle of graffiti on the pill ran, giggling wildly at me to show off.
even ships on the chap next to the gaunt woman say hi.
await for them to go away, quietly told me that it was the boy's mother.
boy was 17 years old, was once the city's focus on lofty educate awarded students. Parents are university professors. Scholarly.
campus entrance examination, exam, then overnight schizophrenia.
IQ becomes 5 annuals old.

a few clothing to wear blue and white stripes and white middle-aged men get together patients,
squeeze in a ward of the window, punch people on the retinue site hanging Rengzhao soft plastic water bottles.
sent waves snapped Jianxiao.

one old man rickets back, sitting in the corridor in the shadows, stationary.
mouth slightly open, and occasionally red passing nurse suck suck saliva.

an old lady in our down time and slip away from us,
turn around and stumble to follow us.
so dull eyes when we look back at us murmur prayers, but also like talking to himself.

face with a tiny joy.
She has been with us approximately the automobile, until the nurses arm back.
still kept back at us, his mouth still kept saying,
like in a bright afternoon, quietly cautioning neighbors remember this like home Clothesline.



keep people die.
They told me a few weeks ago, was seeing TV together when there is a dangling patients deliberately block the back people's consideration.
the behind of a patient suddenly stood up and he took that step stools were smashed down desperately back of the pate.

died a death.


They told me there was a smart youth female, committed suicide numerous times due to a failed love affair, attempted.
nervous malfunction. Sent in.
months from without family and friends to visit her.
she did not speak to anyone. Refused to take medicine injections.
crazy, for each of the doctors and nurses come in throwing things.

nurse in a a.m. meal and base her body yet cold.
curled in pearly bed. Wiping his face with thick rouge.
side walls with a signal filled with her lover's appoint.


they told me ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...




rare winter temperatures heave.
I sat in the car, open the window, his eyes looking out the hustle and bustle of the avenues in the sun sparkling with teeny dust particles.
tears slowly streaming down.

flow it, so I proceed to call.
until clean the dust on the retina,
eyes so that I can see extra apparently.


this empty world.
12/17 (2006/12/17)

alternatively do not want to explain. Or do not unravel.
I suddenly felt namely I once afresh became the story that the shepherd babies.
who lie to you. Just because you leave me afraid.
to truly rotate over time, yet forever for of some remaining certify can not be believed never ever had.

could have been good.


you go to a place where I work, my colleagues and say hello.
summer total about your meal, you smiled and told him I wanted him to take oversight, not mercy.

these days you gave me several Dayton cook banquet.
these days every night I go with accidental one-hour step.

you sit in my room with my computer read the newspaper.

calmly in the living room we talk about future things.
not deadlocked, not arguing.
I tell you I will work hard. Not let you down.
you say your child is the best. You want to mart for her one of the most perfect way.
I've always angry Why did you and mom are like freeze-frame my hereafter.
But that moment, I suddenly felt what I can approve.
as long as you say, I am compliant to listen.

we watch television together.
your arm around my shoulder.
as gently as a child holding my hand.

my hand and your like. Bone strange.
the wide palm, fingers are long, thin wrist to death.

you say that I lost, I bought you to give to eat of. You ask what I like. You ask what I want.
you say I grew up, the fall in love. I want to ask you what variety of boyfriend.

I suddenly muse I talked to a disappointing love.
when you are in my home.
I often spit back drunk at night.
middle of the night sitting on the bed howl.
you knock the door for a long time, I was open.
night you hug me. Tightly. Also as they are now holding my hand. Suddenly I feel a little
was not bad. Why do I even forgot to cry.
but tears still fall.
then slowly fell comatose.
woke up the next day when I so scared of you offended with me.
children are not allowed to fall in love you said. You said very bad boy.

can call me when you do not. You did not say that thing again.

I even secretly glad.
your mother will not like.
only in front of me, you can be so agreeable.
is not it?





But today,GHD MK4 Gold Straighteners, you detect that my room had a sack of empty needle.
in the night, ashen face you prop it, throw in front of me.

I sat in the alive apartment sofa Leng Leng looked up at you.
said not a word.
I want to say I did not, I want to narrate you not what you think of.
whom can I think I grabbed the throat like. What did not.
chest Mende death.

you like a different person. Like her mother did.
coldly, disappointed, looked at me sarcastically.
you did not speak.
seems certain everything.

I had to stand up and slowly walked back to his room, it is hard to shut the gate.
somehow temper.

aunt asked me to dinner,GHD NZ, I should not.
aunt said I listened you forget, do not control her.
I heard you say you want to go back tomorrow. You busy.
You said quietly have penetrated the look, it appears that she still the same. With her go. The total grew up.

I started the microcomputer spokesman was very noisy.
hearing to loud music.
diary.
kept in an blank document written on a long, long diary.
the same as the talk journal.
jot this and explain it.
then deleted.

my stomach began to impair.
today 16. Later than 10 days.
period suddenly come.
I sat in a seat clutching his tolerate.
the room without sanitary cloths.

I do not go out.
do not want to see you.
do not want to talk to you.
not help you do everything better I feel hopeless phantom.
even now I did not.
I did not. 71 Re: An mind [CK] C, k small rage all the log record (2006/12/18)

(2006-12-17 17:50:16) ck
I got home, and you want to send me Shaa, hurry
(2006-12-17 17:50:29) Cretaceous
finally came
(2006-12-17 17:50:34) Cretaceous
waiting for you a long time
(2006-12-17 17:58:04) ck
how?
(2006-12-17 18:02:30) Cretaceous
then quickly fast

slow necrosis of distinct girl
(2006-12-17 18:02: 46) ck
! Not granted to call me then!
(2006-12-17 18:02:57) c.k
this is what?
(2006-12-17 18:03:09) Cretaceous
obviously `is operating
(2006-12-17 18:03:17) ck
SO?
(2006-12-17 18:04:11) receive the document cached in the Cretaceous
E: zs temp folder 06 12-17 18:05:34) Cretaceous
then finished?
(2006-12-17 18:05:47) ck
Well, I opened
(2006-12-17 18:07:09) Cretaceous
mecamylamine days to get it today ?
(2006-12-17 18:07:20) c.k
. . So
you want me to do?
(2006-12-17 18:08:05) Cretaceous
to help me achieve it

yesterday I did not nectar too many time to nap an daytime ``
forgotten today, Tuesday have to disburse `` Ai
(2006-12-17 18:08:12) ck
... ... you do go! ! Talent! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:08:45) Cretaceous
is not buddies? ! Shen Ke
(2006-12-17 18:09:04) ck
I do not know you!
(2006-12-17 18:09:35) Shangxiajiu Cretaceous
last saw a pair of boots ######## of the Nazi `` AI `` You want to buy it ``
to 3000 `` I retention more memories to your brother is not effortless to `` more than 3,000 sets have enough to buy ######y lingerie girl a ``
(2006-12-17 18:11:01) ck
do not need!
(2006-12-17 18:11:16) Cretaceous
and? Wings hard! You come back again so I depart you with no play, ah!
(2006-12-17 18:11:22) ck
- - | | do you roll into the distant point.
(2006-12-17 18:11:35) Hi `Cretaceous
grandmother did not give a long call, ah `` `` comes back is the phone call and talk to her a `` good
album that you are? New boyfriend? Hey ``
(2006-12-17 18:11:44) c.k
. . I do.
long cross
(2006-12-17 18:11:57) Cretaceous
before tomorrow night Tuesday, would pay a `` `` I-on course
today you boil always night I get that done to give the best
(2006-12-17 18:12:14) ck
I'll go to go na! ! You're mad, right! !
so much! ,GHD IV Salon Straighteners! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:12:49) Do not make a fuss
Cretaceous
you do not tell you to read a good read ``
brother now give you meaningful entities to do this you ``
(2006-12-17 18:13:23) ck
... ...
(2006-12-17 18:13:31) ck
do at a time that segment is not PS
(2006-12-17 18:14:55) Cretaceous
be changing for the better in front of the 3 `PS ``
we do is a week-on 2 12:00 - 1: 40, at 12:10 only ten minutes before the Q
before tomorrow, so you have to first bring me ``
(2006-12-17 18:15:18) ck
en
(2006-12-17 18:16:32) Cretaceous
ten minutes did not pass over I hung up
(2006-12-17 18:16:46) ck
know! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:18:51) Cretaceous
good `` you help me to last that Frontpage is likewise done right?
(2006-12-17 18:19:08) c.k
. . You do not move for too much ah Shen Yun Bo! ! ! !
(2006-12-17 18:21:26) I will have to lower Cretaceous
a `` hand in papers when the educator said, the first 4 operations on FP which, along with her, since she inside look at
(2006-12-17 18:23:00) there are PS jobs Cretaceous
your own assignment should also write down the steps to do ah

remember all the so I beneath ``
(2006-12-17 18:24:58) ck
. . .
(2006-12-17 18:25:29) Cretaceous
remember ah `` `` faster allocation
Tuesday will not let me hanging branches or else I come back beat
You




... ...
... ...
So I started screaming in pain as help aboard QQ
I forgot to tell Bo Shen Yun PS Actually, I was an simpleton.

really good thanks to Q, and more.
after 4 hours hurling good people help me in this damn job done.
plus the last decision in which filthy images sent to Bo Shen Yun teacher.

completed.

I tired.
judged to sleep a sleep forget my anger. Author: ≠ ___ thus of


2008-8-24 09:11 Reply to this expression
72 Re: An idea [CK] C, k all log 12.19 (2006/12/19)

done extraordinarily well, what with it.

what is the use it.
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I changed.
the change, ah.
been changed ah.
been desperately to change.
according to the memory of your way to change.
like you.
brave. Pure.
of you as I would like to become.
so that we never appear to divide before.
half a year.
half a year.
6 passes fhardly ever long so long.
everything changed.
everything changed.

changed to one day wake up I do not recognize myself.
not acknowledge you.

my eyes or mordant to death.
I suddenly so so lonely. So then I think you
.
every day.

these changes so I lost all reassurance.
me with nothing.
my self-confidence.
my firm.
me a sense of inferiority to death. I feel speed up I can not liken to anybody person.
matter how I constantly meet fashionable people, new friends, new sweethearts.
the outside world.
every person's laugh is so dazzling.
so dazzling.
so clean. Even the sorrowful, too.
like you like the original.
like you.

I ignored chaos and panic.
cope with all those strange.
make themselves busy.
I am a person.
I am a person.

but I do not want that day to bring you again to anyone.
I even deleted all those who know your friends.


I can only speak against the diary.
said I wanted to say.
on time.
today.
This is nothing.
This is nothing.

I looked at your photos, trembling and kissed your photos.
I am crying tears did not visualize the whole proboscis wipe on the sleeve.
side and Xiao Han speak.
speak. Speak.
addition to her I do not know and who I have the gallantry to speak.
In adding to her that I do not know who to trust me.
at least she said the letter.
believe me, she said.
there is a person believe me.
she would not laugh at me.
she is willing to listen to me.


I can persevere more break.
father, mother. People approximately.
I accept and know the love of these injuries.
but I made a error.
one second I let myself calm down.
I began to think of you.
so everything collapsed.

everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.
everything collapsed.


I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can no come to nothing ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.
I can not come to naught ah.

die can no longer go back.
not a.
not a.
I want to hold back.
I want to hold back.
I want to hold back.
I want to hold back.

tomorrow is coming.
immediately passed today.
instantly passed.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.
soon enough.

morrow came.
I put this curse ridiculous, no longing material canceled.