as Chloe Sevigny

one. What's this “fug”? I’ve never heard of it.
“Fug” comes from “fugly,” which is a contraction of “fantastically ugly” (or an f-word more prurient, if you like, but we are clean and delightful young ladies who don’t engage in that kind of filth Tiffany Novo, dammit).
Here’s some etymology for you:
fugly (adj.)
frightfully ugly; of or pertaining to something beyond the boundaries of normal unattractiveness. Ex: “That ‘Kabbalists Do It Better’ trucker hat is fugly.”
fug (n.)
1. A state of extreme ugliness. Ex: “The level of fug at the Video Music Awards is always hard to stomach.”
2. A proper name for someone possessed of eternal heinousness, as Chloe Sevigny: “Oh look, there’s Fug, looking all miserable and dour in her black turtleneck and white frilly farm dress.”
fugging (v.)
The act of posting on one’s blog in order to identify something excruciatingly ugly. Ex: “Hey, I am fugging Li’l Kim again for wearing only a tiny piece of cloth.”
2. So “fugly” is like extreme ugliness?
Kind of — we like to think of “ugly” as something that refers to an unchangeable condition, but also a condition above which people can rise.
Fugly, however Tiffany Bracelets, is a self-inflicted state, and no one seems to excel at dwelling in the depths of fug quite like pretty people with money to spare and little sense of how to spend it. Celebrities are always skipping around in public wearing things that are phenomenally perplexing; as these red-carpet dwellers are often considered trendsetters or bastions of Hip Present and Hip Future, we like to take them to task for careless choices. (Of particular concern: whomever got little girls thinking that miniskirts and Ugg boots were a stellar combination.)
3. Got it: You crack on celebrities. That means you’re jealous, right?
You’re not reading our blog — you’re reading our souls! Who wouldn’t want to go to a premiere dressed like a drunk genie? Just the other day we turned to each other and each said, “I wish we had some gold lame hot pants. Damn Beyonce for having what we want.” Jessica is frequently in fits over the fact that neither of us can grow an ill-advised mustache, and when we’re being honest with ourselves, we know that we wish we could go out in public wearing only napkins.
4. You two need to stop eating Twinkies and get on the treadmill. Clearly you’re fat and bitter, and no a single will ever love you.
We would get off the couch, if the donut glaze on the backs of our thighs hadn’t hardened into a thick paste, forever yoking us to the sofa.
5. But, seriously, who are you guys?
You can learn more about us here.
6. I said seriously.
There is nothing un-serious about Joan Collins’s cleavage. Period. But if you must know, no, we’re not a pair of gay men, and yes, Heather and Jessica are our real names.
7. I know who that Random Fug is! It’s…
Don’t worry — we know, too Tiffany Rings Sale, so unless we printed it and got it wrong, you don’t need to e-mail us (although we appreciate the enthusiasm). We don’t mean for the “Random Fug” postings to be a guessing game; we just sometimes can’t or don’t work the name of the person into the flow of the post itself.
8. Where are the comments? I need the comments!
Things were getting busy in there, and more than a little hateful in ways that made us uncomfortable. (And if bitches like us are uncomfortable Tiffany Blue, well, you know things got very messy in there.) We generally don’t have the time — or the software, really — to moderate them the way they desperately needed to be handled, so it became necessary to close the comments for the immediate future.
It might not be forever, but it’s for now.
New as of 2009: We open comments selectively, on posts with polls and/or reader submission elements, to keep discussion targeted.
9. What about forums?
See above — those require extensive moderating and their own intricate FAQ to keep some of the nonsense that appeared in the comments from spilling over into a forum and getting a life of its own. We’re not ruling out the idea, but we’re also not going to pursue it until we have copious time to do it RIGHT. This isn’t something we want to half-ass.
10. I’ll do it for you! I’ll moderate whatever you want me to moderate.
Thank you, very sincerely. People are so generous, and offers like this have been greatly appreciated. But we’re not looking for outside moderators at this point in time; when we do, you’ll be the first to know. We promise.
11. Where can I get t-shirts?
We’re so sorry — those were pre-order only, meaning that the lovely Glark from Glarkware only made as many as were ordered. Glarkware no longer makes merchandise, but someday, we’d love to see some more shirts come out, so cross your fingers that we can make it happen.
12. What on earth is this Fug Madness I keep hearing you mention?
That’s something we run in conjunction with the timing of the NCAA March Madness — so Tiffany And Co, roughly mid-March through the first week in April. The details are here.