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Reprinted from 514760488 at 11:42 on August 3, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
school did you get, most have not seen, Guwahati ha ha ha ha crack me up! ! !
1. students go to the bathroom between classes, that did not bring paper was finished, and not wait for people, phone and arrears. 10086 despair he called for help. . . It is said that there was silent for a long time, then ... ... he was classmates in class to receive such a message: Hello Dear China Mobile users, your classmates so and so in the toilet, so you send him toilet paper. Please contact 10086 -
-2. dormitory on the 6th floor, climb and found the key did not take down the stairs and asked the aunt to take, and then climb up to the door, go also key, and then climb up to, found the door closed, next to a student after asking said, \
3. night my girlfriend said I was too your mother, I too happy, just like she got into a fight, wanted to become a man that, but it finally began to cry uncontrollably. -
-4. a buddy courage QQ, MM affectionate to tell the truth, while MM replies: I am her mother, I have come to steal food -
- 5. that day suddenly found that I had aunt, Er Yi, four aunt, five aunt, but did not Sanyi. So to ask my father: Why did not I Sanyi? Heart is also thought for a moment: Is when Sanyi in small dead? My father said: You Sanyi is your mother! -
-6. One time we all have to go home after class ring a bell, down the stairs when I stepped on his left foot, \: No, humiliating, I installed Halo, the results of the students sitting next to me look at me motionless, and quickly pick me up, and then hit crazy fan about to open my ears ...-
-7. a fellow student, his computer will automatically start every morning (presumably because the dorm when the moment calls the morning of red open.) - Old took a break and he posted on the computer. . . -
-8. Dad the greatest dislike of foreign singers. But one day, I was watching mtv when Michael Jackson was surprised to find that Dad stood behind, his face thoughtful expression. \
-9. a female friend and a gay men sharing a house. One night she was very upset, that gay is very considerate to her under a bowl. She suddenly felt very warm, he said: \\
-10. QQ yesterday received a request for additional information about friends: \said: \
-11. One day, physical way, toilet solve personal problems. Results worry incursion into male toilets. Saw a boy is peeing urinal, I was on the Mongolia, is preparing to quietly retreat after a second, the results were found, weighs. Saw that the boys shouting \Then later I said something incredible that the words themselves \
-12. faint and drink urine to a restaurant bathroom and saw the word written on the wall, leaned in for a look that says: \After the sentence has a urinary their shoes. -
-13. I am the ambulance doctor, a patient told me today he was only 6 months a good life and I would like to point words of encouragement! comfort to: six months passed quickly, be strong! -
-14. One time I rented it to diffuse the Kindaichi, just saw the second page to tears, I do not know which days to kill a certain person with a blue ballpoint pen and drew a circle, write This was the murderer ... ... -
-15. the afternoon bus, take bus card slot in the bang when thrown into a -
16. whim, take your own photos as your desktop ... and then my computer to a virus ... -
17. We always like pretending to maths teacher told me a humorous joke that no one laughed - we discuss the spoof on him a whole class, so the first thing he said when the school, we all in unison laugh - that day he came in, silent a moment that his father died - and I immediately burst into laughter, others silent. -
-18. My wife and I play to the Reclining Buddha, his wife walk the road, so I carry her. - An old lady saw it, said seriously: read the book to see who you are. His wife was sick to the hospital earlier, Buddha is useless -.
19. water and soil do see a cashier in a very serious bunch of coins in a number of children ran, ran to sing: in front of the downstream bridge over a group of ducks, Come Come count, twenty-four six seven eight. . . . Then the cashier is depressed by half the number of coins go back and re-number ....-
20. We used to have a baby dormitories (male), the honest little while (stupid),
red wing boots, and sometimes stupidly charming. One time at night after lights out, and everyone in the chat, he stresses, such as I have money to find three girls. We are held together by his taste for, and asked him then, he saw calm, said, playing mahjong ... -
-21. downstairs funeral team blowing \
22. think of one thing to the University - the University final exam, candidate number required to fill out on the paper - I wrote on the QQ number of TMD -.
-23. my junior high school class teacher particularly fierce, with five weekly classes will be lecture before going to school. Once, she love to the excitement Department, said the force of justice, \I was fighting back and around a few students did not dare to laugh, had his head buried deep. I remember one of the guys lying on the desk, biting his hand hard. . . -
-24. hostel buddies strong violence, a day that there are mosquito nets, busy grasping for a long time did not catch, man sighed and said: \, and tolerance for a few days did not hang a mosquito net, and finally the mosquitoes to starve to death, we sweat ah ~~~~~ that this is not what is right, many people did. Day he found a fly flew into the nets actually, told us: \We said: \- \Keep watching the swing side of fan fiction, do not let the flies landing, the results two hours later, finally flies fly no more. Minato fly past his prodding, said: \
25.2009 on July 22, I see a guy on a BBS, said: \
-26. brother take the bus, the car is always a beautiful girl looking at him. Brother thought: the girl may have their own interesting, can not help but psychological flattered. Girl get off the station. Upon seeing his brother with it down immediately. Girl walked in front, looking back from time to time. Courage brother ran forward, not without humor approached and said: \do not rub 。\
27. a students caught by the enemy, the enemy tied him in the poles, and then asked him: say, Where are you from? You do not say to electrocution! Students back the enemy a word, the result was electrocuted, he said: I was TV's!
28. kids to steal a parrot * Home care home, a door, the parrot would perhaps: Move it! Saw his mother called: the boss for it! See his sister called: Miss has had! Saw his father called: I cao or old customers!
29. an ugly woman, marry, want to be trafficking. Dream come true, but half sold. Kidnappers to return, she determined not to get off a stomping kidnappers teeth: walking, not a car.
30. late at night to see Osama bin Laden Bush to stand in his own bed, the first batch of distributed, Bush shocked says: How bold, daring night raid the White House! Bin Laden's beard shook chest, dark smiled and said: Rejoice, is one such self-confidence!
31. Eight naive: Leadership toast you drink, you first touch the leading lady, leading to walk your car, you are wordy speech, the leadership, leadership affair You're crazy, leading off a bath before you, leading you turn the table and take their food led license to listen to you Zimo.
32. a man going to the toilet, had just closed the door, heard next door to ask: Are you coming? He said: yes ah. Can be thought that next door Who is it? I know him? Strange! At this time next asked: are you doing ah? He was very angry and said: ah shit! To be doing this? ! Next door asked,
red wing shoes outlet, when do you go? He thought: This man is estimated that there are crazy! He said the chagrin: left was finished! ! At this time next asked: Which would you come here for a moment, shall we? This person was surprised: CAO! Turned out to be gay! He cursed: You TMD die, perverted! Next door said: Well, hang it, one will give you back here next to me a silly B! TMD old incumbent on me then! !
33. a woman through the night, suddenly saw a man came up to her with open arms, do embrace the like, is the front foot. Man fell to the ground crying, said: are the third block, and I bother anyone with pieces of glass so hard to go home to it?
34. Lucky 52 occurred in the real joke, Li Yong get on the ground laughing! PART1: a married couple, guess the food name, his wife gestures husband guess. Out on the big screen, \Husband appears to be anxious, and blurted out: \. . . .
35. have read no one can live under, are laughable today is my birthday, my girlfriend called early to go home that night to congratulate the birthday for me, but also has given me surprises! Heard the good news! Today I work up is to buy extra power to run about a dozen customers! Back to the Company. All three in the afternoon, and to the canteen and saw only a pitiful soup, and Rouchao three beans (Rouchao soybeans, green beans, peas) and radish soup. No way, run a morning customers, the stomach has long been called the cuckoo, and had to a large plate of beans and a big tub Rouchao three radish soup, eat up! Temporary work did not expect, my stomach is like a Jeep off-road engine! - Start a violent piston! Suddenly, a Unit of gas from the oncoming rush, rushed out of my body! I quickly rushed to the place where no one, his stomach began to sing softly, or embarrassed, but quickly becomes a barrage of puff do ring! Good belly up it! And that moment, the girlfriend has called and said she had got home and told me to hurry home. Alas! No option but to go home, I hope she will not see me like this piece of panic it! ... ... On the way home I put a lot of deliberate efforts to fart. Almost home, a lot of stomach feel better, I think what should not be a problem. Much to see at the door waiting for my girlfriend, she looks a bit excited. She cried, said, \up and say give me a surprise! Also led me to sit at the head table, chair, and I vowed not to peek. Suddenly, I felt want to fart. Precisely at this time,
red wing shoe store, his girlfriend's cell phone rang. This incorrigible my life out! I'm looking for an excuse to say too chaotic to allow her to another room to answer the phone! I can not reveal her Quefei cloth blindfolded, but I swear! Went to another room before answering the phone. She left, I would seize the opportunity to move the body weight in one leg, the Pifang out. This Pifang may not sound great, and smells like a rotten egg odor emitted. I can hardly breathe, so I touch upholstery, straining to around violently in an attempt to fan out the unpleasant odor. As I just feel better, another fart again. I began to put up your leg! It sounds like a fast rotation of diesel engine sounds, and this time the smell was even more unpleasant. In order not to suffocate me with his arm waving fans up cushions, hoping the smell dissipated as soon as possible. Is going to return to normal in all the time, another fart and can not wait to punch came. So I stood up, bent down to stick up above the ass backwards! Put it out. This may truly be called Pifang class, even the newspapers have been blown behind to the ground. . . . I listened attentively to another room talking to the voice of his girlfriend, because the promise to abide do not peek, I do not open the eye, can only be placed fart in the dark constantly, in order to quickly put all the exhaust gas in the stomach, but also do not make more room stinks,
red wing shoes online! I untied the waistband of his trousers, underwear and trousers faded into the lower abdomen below the dew out of the bottom, and explored and opened the balcony door behind him,
red wing store, almost the whole ass out into the balcony, sensational start crazy fart to ... ..., ah! Feel better and more! After I was dancing with cushions room full of chaos fans, pray that the stench can be up to ... shares ... and thus, within the next ten minutes, I stood side fart constantly, while constantly fanned chair pad, and finally, when I heard her say goodbye on the phone when the room air and my stomach is much better now! I quickly tied pants, finishing her hair, began gracefully, smiled, waiting for me to give me her dear surprise. When she approached the time, with a satisfied smile on my face, a pair of gentle look. First, beat his girlfriend so long for her phone apologized to me and asked me if I had been secretly opened a cloth. I did not peek to her that after the removal of the cover girl on the cloth in my eyes, and I said, \on the very gracious, handsome man long! Here! You see, at the table in these five units of the good are my sisters, while standing on the balcony of that six of my best friends at school ! \surprise birthday dinner. Now, they are every face with an unspeakable expression of looked at me, like that of the Martian ... ... ... ... ... ...
36. A mouth slander dog jumped onto the table and find food, found a chicken, he tried to eat, the owner suddenly exclaimed: If you dare to the chicken how, I told you how to! So the next chicken ass licking dog.
37. a shopping suddenly feel stomach pain, so you can eat into the corner of the 199 pot shops, would like to take a toilet to use, but why I could not find searched the first floor, so I went to two upstairs, second floor is also decorated the empty nothing, but found to have a toilet door close * fault to be repaired, do not use *, I really could not help myself, though he thirty-seven XXI Anyway, no one around, Tuolekuzai squatted on toward the toilet, break Para ... ... thrilled! ! After I went downstairs only to find empty, strange,
red wing shoes, a time when dinner is also almost a full house downstairs just say, how suddenly deserted it? ? Even the waiters and reception were gone ... ... So I approached the counter, and asked: \: \
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