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7. you laugh once

it made me so eager to distant and vocabulary

男人_____烟-------爱-

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Ron DiFrancesco's voice softens and trails off. He barely finishes his sentences as he recalls his experience on Sept. 11, 2001. He speaks as if it happened yesterday.
"It was a living hell," he says. "I was mere seconds from death. ... I didn't know I was going to get out."
DiFrancesco is believed to be the last person out of the South Tower of the World Trade Center before it collapsed. According to some reports, he was one of only four people to escape from above the 81st floor.
A decade later, survivor's guilt still weighs heavily on him.
"I will carry with me to my grave whether I should have taken somebody with me," he says, "I still harbor a lot of guilt.
"Time does heal a bit, but it doesn't make you forget what happened. And I think, for our generation, it's our marking point in history. It changed the world that day," he says.
DiFrancesco prefers not to go into detail about his horrifying experience on 9/11. He says it forces him to relive the nightmare. In the past 10 years, he has given only a few interviews, including one for John Geiger's book The Third Man Factor and another for an article in the Ottawa Citizen. Based on those accounts, this is what happened to DiFrancesco:
The first plane had just struck the North Tower, and from his office on the 84th floor of the South Tower, DiFrancesco, a 37-year-old Canadian money-market broker for Euro Brokers, could see smoke billowing from the building. Moments after he left his office to evacuate, the second plane smashed into the South Tower, hitting the building between the 77th and 85th floors.
DiFrancesco was thrown against a wall by the force of the impact, and then he rushed to the nearest stairwell and headed down. On the way, he ran into a group of people trying to escape; they told him to go up the stairs instead, because the flames were too bad below.
As they debated which way to go, they heard someone calling for help. DiFrancesco and his colleague Brian Clark, an executive vice president at Euro Brokers, went to rescue the man, but DiFrancesco became overwhelmed by smoke and had to turn back.
He began to go up the stairs to find clear air, but the doors on each landing were locked, a safety mechanism to keep smoke from filling the whole building in the event of a fire. Panic set in as it became harder to breathe, so he turned around and started back down.
He reached a landing in the impact zone and joined others lying on the floor, gasping for air. But a voice told him to get up and keep going. He ran down the stairs, covering his face with his forearms as he fought through the flames.
Finally he reached the ground floor, where a security guard directed him to a different exit. As he reached it, he heard a giant roar as the building began to collapse. He turned and saw a fireball heading right at him. Days later, he woke up in the hospital with lacerations on his head, burns all over his body, and a broken bone in his back.
Ten years later, DiFrancesco, who is now 47 and living in Toronto, Canada, says the memories and the aftermath of 9/11 permeate his everyday life.
"The scars on my head and my arms remind me every day how fortunate I am," he says. "There are mementos throughout the house. In our living room, we have quite a few pictures of New York and a picture of the World Trade Center. We have a couple of albums of cards that people had sent, and there are some memorial books we look at [too]. They actually gave my wife the watch that was on my wrist on 9/11. It was broken, but it stopped at the exact time the building came down."
But the effects of his experience that day go much deeper than his scars and mementos. DiFrancesco's near-death experience changed his entire outlook on life.
"For me, being so close to death, I don't fear dying or moving on," he says. "When I was almost down and out, I did see the light, and I was prepared to go, but I'm here. … If I was to die tomorrow I would hate leaving my wife and kids, but I don't fear dying now."
DiFrancesco's whole mentality changed, too. He's constantly on alert, even when there's no imminent threat.
"I'm very aware of my surroundings and what's going on, what I'm doing, and what other people are doing," he says. "Whenever I go into a building or a room, I need to know where the exit is, because that day I wasn't in control, and I almost didn't make it out. It's a bit obsessive I think, but it's changed the way I think and the way I act."
Even seemingly normal occurrences cause terrifying flashbacks.
"When I see tall buildings and planes, it jogs my memory," he says. "Loud noises [and chaos] really bother me. I'm a little claustrophobic, so when [I'm] in a big crowd, it gets to me a lot. I also find screaming and yelling really gets to me."
But out of the pain and chaos came compassion, hope, and a deeper meaning to the idea of paying it forward. DiFrancesco and his family have always been religious and involved in community service, but the overwhelming outreach from their friends and neighbors after 9/11 moved them to make it a bigger part of their lives.
"When I was in the hospital, people were taking care of meals for the family, and that went on for months," he says. His community went out of its way to help get the DiFrancesco family back on their feet.
"My car was left at the train station, and my wife didn't know where it was. A neighbor came and found my car and brought it back to us," he explains. "And I only had the one key that was melted in the World Trade Center, so he went and got new keys made for my car."
The lengths to which his community went to support them inspired DiFrancesco and his wife more than ever to pay it forward and to teach their kids to do the same. Now, DiFrancesco is on the board of two charities: Villa Colombo, a home for Italian seniors, and Camp Trillium, a charity that promotes and offers recreational experiences for children with cancer and their families.
For the DiFrancescos, volunteering for Camp Trillium is a family event.
"I participate in this cancer bike ride ... we ride basically 60 miles a day for four days," he says. "My children and my wife are actively involved [too]. My two older children ride with me, and my two younger [kids] and my wife volunteer for the four days."
DiFrancesco has always enjoyed cycling, especially for a good cause, but ever since 9/11, his riding has taken on a different meaning, and he rides for an hour or two almost daily.
"I love the peacefulness of the road, riding my bike, and riding in a pack ... [it's] a bit of healing for me," he says. "I find it cathartic."
The healing process is an ongoing one for his family. Over the years, DiFrancesco and his wife have been collecting friends' and families' stories of how 9/11 affected them -- and may even consider putting them into a book.
"We both find it fascinating what you were doing that day ... people went home, picked up their kids from school, and hugged them and kept them close," he says. "Just hearing [their] stories ... it's interesting to find out what everyone was doing on that day."
There are still questions that may never be answered, and survivor's guilt is ever-present.
"I don't understand all of it," he says. "Why did I survive and 61 of my colleagues didn't?"
For DiFrancesco, though, one message is clear.
"When your number is up, He will call you. Coming so close to death, I believe you can't change destiny," he says. "Be happy with every day we have here."

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69033 2007 年 11 月 01 日 14:02 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (6) Category: Miscellaneous world Kan

day, I saw the Buddha's smile.
candlelight as if jumping elves, random twist body, obviously off the face off and consumed the world hi complain. Buddha on a bunk in the sweet dream awake, still remaining subtle and elegant mouth smile. I am cheerful devout eye of doubt, the Buddha has dream?
Buddhist insight into my eyes shot to inquiries, frankly Dianwai quietly beautiful as a means to wash the spring. Close to the cold hard ground, I slowly over the five hundred Arhat arrogant face.
outside the house, close to earth, heaven and earth as usual, looking back Tian Ran away smiling Buddha, I have a glimpse of his awareness. Buddha is also the ordinary people. Only understand things through the ages.
He had not words, smile with a shred of temptation to persuade. I admitted to throb restless fidget, quietly swim back to the Buddha's feet, silently guarding the Millennium in the Buddhist side, I find the only secure his feet Fangcun Di's. Nose smell the smell of sandalwood aroma drunk desires, unconsciously, front fog of myth thrown, a surge of Bai Hai Drunken burnout want to hit on the heart.
eyes closed, I was no longer me.

Yingou moon, water pontoon Ruonvchunshan thin of late. Suddenly light swaying willow, suspected ghosts down to earth.

only one, is puzzled Nie Yuan. This man, as much as Zhang familiar face, could not resist the desire to give birth close.
Yubi Qingshu, black hair caught up his white head and neck, so the purpose of an elegant Kenjiro Jian Mei Long.



mutual affection so they began, as each pair of crazy men Rouge of the North. Who can say at first was not sincere?
I spilled the only lights in the house. The stars become eyes of God to witness the next chance encounter love at first sight.
Jinxi any evening, a long moment of boundless joy also appears sufficient to keep in mind this life.
middle of the night, quietly left the sleeping and strange body, I gaze at the bronze mirrors under the moonlight Seiki's own. Begonia flowers pressed sticks chaos, its shallow soft smoke Luo, loving lingering traces of happiness overflows in the corner of the eye brow. An hour, the fate of two lives draw yesterday at the present, happiness came so easily and unexpectedly.
looked back, and engaging hook that still face it. Can not remember where seen, actually give birth to Haikudanlan attachment.
just east white, he said to go. Stunned stunned silence. Meet a hurry, leave without a trace, could not bear to Zaiqiao not see this face. Do not go. What has been his wife, however small. Get preference for things people always expect to find. Love you mei delicate and lonely, but name is not correct ah. Over the perimeter, before we know back to what, too late. But you can not ever leave me. Then give me all night.
never afraid to look at my face style Yan, afraid to listen to my soft sweet waxy jade tones, and he nose and sharp eyes, nose view of the heart, the cold if the passers-by. This face will have decisive and expression, as the night after the sun did not hideous. No tears, to see him go and went.
longitudinal retain him, but also failed to keep his heart. And my heart, then where?
love,la gear sneakers, just one.
forget, the exhaustion of life.
and Guling life, panic grow old,la gear on sale, sit on the mirror, indecent loved his life - his face, every curve, every line, still seared in my heart. If the situation at that time, though written in the wind, actually remember verbatim.
He seems so far away? No. While passing through missed, but one wrong mark on the left, even the pain of the mark.
a love-hate feelings hurt in the end. When last we shall soon see, his face clearly in front of strange birth to the idea of heart: it all has not ended.

dance.
red armbands.
socks raw dust.
subtle fragrance floats.
it was already dusk.
only Acacia continues. Hua Jun Mowen
drunk.
Dai Mei, such as silk, Xiangsai wins snow. What a handheld U.S. Kinds. I eat only a little dancing in between cups, this rolling lofty Red Dust, are just under skirt minister.
Spring Night is too short to Japan, longer. Son, your daughter may want to ask a drunk? Come on - the cup of mandarin ducks together quilt, non-drinking is not.
any iron you hit the heart of the hero of copper, how ruthless enemy sentient beings smile tilting. Fleeting Fit, Fanghua goes by, son, the love can be Do not Nujia thrown everywhere ah. Wine while still warm, the night is not dark, it is better to drink with me a while longer.
Yeah, you're drunk ... ...
three shifts. Get up. Ask mirror self-pity. Brothel complains of the day break, why I have difficulty with Melancholy distraction. Seems to forget the most important thing, there will be thousands of pet, still no trace of nostalgia. Where is my place?
just before dawn. He woke up. That the situation is also as old. Years, have another drink. Son, you go. No why. Sell laugh, What a night is not enough. What are you thick I concentrated, talk about, you too seriously. Come, pulled him out.
understand. Unwilling. Warm in his eyes a little bit was killed, complaining that light up. Seen many same faces, from disappointment to despair, I can only cold but also the cold back.
only one night, son, you can have only one night only. If this is your pace, and your experience when you cherish,la gear, something after the forgotten. I, long lost heart.
my heart stolen by a man, I do not know his name. I can not remember.
really pre-existence life after death? That man is the debt I owe it, life is still his tired.
night came quickly, a flash is night, and it was time to turn to who?

seems like a dream. Cheng pulls past between the sudden interest in a clear, to the top looked and saw the Buddha's smile.
I finally know who the face. Buddha. Let me never forget this world and the two students, was actually Buddha.
Am I in love with the Buddha?
no longer wait any longer, the silt exhaled a stuffy atmosphere, and a guilty conscience, I have measured to the Buddha nodded. Buddha suddenly spoke up: I love the Buddha, he is the only lingering hard to become a barrier to heart. Buddha in the test me, or enchant? I do not answer. After the millennium, I find nothing more is to continue to stand by his side, even if made of stone blocks silent 也好. Po-phase creeping solemn in his golden statue, I respectfully kissed his toes, please allow me to stay.
Buddha shake their heads. Moran, I seem to see the young to pull off. I can not love the Buddha do? Perhaps beings can fall in love with anyone, but only cute him, because he is the highest perfection of the Buddha to Tai. Only faith in the Buddha, not love.
five hundred Lohan look at my eyes more and more revulsion disdain, and justifiably wait Fengfo of them compared to my little love, even as it's a brick house. Can I have the Buddha heart, no better than them light.
Want to get hurt tired, I still adhere to the original dedication,la gear walking shoes, security guard at his feet, always in love with him. All this ridiculous even to violate various deities.
another thousand years in the past five hundred Lohan's eyes turned into a pity, I do not understand this one change. But sometimes think also relieved. I also do not insist on the results of this predicament, they are moved by feeling it.
Is my answer wrong. The first time, I had a vague suspicion and uncertainty. Two thousand years, I who were not him? Not.
I hissing cry, not so cruel to me. Waited two thousand years, is this end I have been guarding the desolate? Ocean ferocious five hundred towards me,la gear womens shoes, for me to see all gloating smile.
I have no place.
pushed down in the hall should the moment, I look back to the Buddha one. It's a life and death, I suddenly understood the true meaning of the Buddha.
I love not the Buddha, is eternal life. I was laughing Buddha
, yes, I love that he can give me eternal life. And that moment, I finally can see through even the life and death.
also laughing Buddha, bayan with Lohan have stopped. Back to his feet again, I think his eyes got clean and thorough. I understand that, never mind no Guaai.
From then on, I become protective deities, ranked one of Tian Long Ba Bu. My name is Mo

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