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Old 11-08-2011, 07:50 AM   #1
bb0n7lff
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Default tods shop online 武文老师问学生道

武文老师:“同学们,最有价值的动物是什么?”
张敏健:“是鸡。”
武文老师:“为什么?”
张敏健:“鸡在出生前是蛋,可以吃;记在杀死后,也可以给人吃。”(说着,他拿出那个大鸡蛋)
武文老师:“我看你就想着吃!”
历史课上,武文老师:“谁知道林黛玉是怎么死的?”
李鑫:“摔死的”
武文老师:“何以见得?”
李鑫:“有个为证啊”李鑫接着唱了起来:“天上掉下个林妹妹。”
武文老师:“微积分是很有用的学科,学习微积分,我们的目标是什么?
马启光:“没有蛀牙!”
武文老师:“李鑫,你的毛病就是用词不当,现在考考你用一句成语来形容老师很开心。”
李鑫:“含笑九泉。”
武文老师:“请用母牛造句!”
张敏健:“一头母牛!”
武文老师:“好!能不能再造一个?”
张敏健:“又一头母牛!”
语文课上,武文老师让李鑫解释一下“无的放失”的意思,
李鑫说:“无的放失的意思是‘没地方拉屎’ 。”
地理课上,武文老师问同学们:”河水向哪里流呀?”
殷光栋猛站起来唱到:“大河向东流啊。 ”
武文老师没理会他,接著说:“天上有多少颗星星啊?”
殷光栋又唱到:“天上的星星参北斗啊。”
武文老师气急:“你给我滚出去!”
殷光栋:“说走咱就走啊。”
老师无奈说:“你有病吧?”
殷光栋:“你有我有全都有啊!”
武文老师:“你再说一句试试..... ”
殷光栋:“路见不平一声吼啊!”
武文老师:“你信不信我揍你?”
殷光栋:“该出手时就出手... ”
武文老师怒:“我让你退学! ”
殷光栋:“风风火火闯九州!”
语文仿写题:“如果一滴水代表一份关心,我送你一个海洋。如果一片树叶代表一份开心,我送你一 棵大树……”
李鑫写道:如果一次犯错代表一个经验,我将天天犯错,timberland pull on boots。”
武文老师:“如果一个耳光代表一份责任,我将扇死你。”
历史课上,武文老师问张敏健:“王安石和欧阳修有什共同点?”
张敏健脱口而出:“他们都是宋朝人。 ”
老师接着问:“那你说说,他们和唐太宗、诸葛亮有什么共同点?”
张敏健愣了愣,答道:“他们都是古代人。”
课堂上一阵大笑,武文老师将错就错,干脆当个游戏玩下去,也算活跃课堂气份,于是武文老师问道:“那他们和 孙中山、鲁迅有共同点吗?”
张敏健想了想,说:“他们都是男人。”
武文老师接着又问:“如果加上李清照、慈禧呢?”
张敏健急了:“他、他们都是中国人。”
武文老师笑了笑,问道:“你再说说,拿破仑和凯撒有什么共同点?”
张敏健:“他们都当过皇帝。”
武文老师问:“他们和达尔文、希特勒有什么共同点?”
张敏健答到这时已经摸到窍门了,他得意地回答:“他们都是外国人。 ”
武文老师又紧逼了一句:“那他们和我前面提到的这些人有什么共同点呢?”
张敏健一竿子捅到底:“他们都是人,lacoste alligator。”
武文老师又问:“据我所知,这些人中诸葛亮养过鸡,慈禧、凯撒还养过狗,把这些动物都算上,他们和它们有共 同点吗?”
武文老师这么一问,张敏健的头上开始冒汗了:“这个……他们和它们都死了。”
“嗯,的确都死了。”武文老师点了点头。
张敏健腿一软,tods shop online,坐了下来,心想,“这下问题该到头了吧?”
不料武文老师又说:“你站起来,还有最后一个问题…… 假如现在他们和它们都还活着,能找出共同点吗?”
张敏健傻眼了,他想了足有五分钟,才哭丧着脸说:“如果不算时差的话,他们和它们应该都吃过午 饭了。”
李鑫考试的时候,写名字懒得写三个金(鑫)了,写成金的三次方……
武文老师:“我来说上句,你们来说下句。
长江后浪推前浪---”
马启光:“一代更比一代浪”
武文老师问学生道:“要怎麽解释‘与人分担痛苦,会使痛苦减半’呢?”
李鑫回答说:“如果我爸爸打我,我就随即揍我弟弟!”
武文老师让用“吃香”造句,李鑫说:“我很喜欢吃香蕉。”
武文老师让用“马上”造句,马启光写:“我骑在马上。”
某政治课,武文老师说:“何谓三不政策?”
李鑫:“不知道、不清楚、不要问我,mbt tunisha black。”
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Old 11-08-2011, 07:55 AM   #2
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Is it the shoes? It's got to be... Right? Michael Jeffrey Jordan replied to Mars Blackmon that it wasn't. Maybe he was right. Born in Brooklyn, raised in North Carolina, Mr. Jordan dominated the NBA and "His Airness", rightfully crowned (arguably) as the greatest basketball player of all time. All Mars wanted to know if this greatness was due to the shoes. High School athletes,Christian Louboutin Discount Shoes, College stars and NBA professionals alike have worn the shoes in hopes to have an edge. Even if the edge is just psychological. By wearing the shoes, one would hope to "be like Mike."

1984 Air Jordan enters the NBA draft after an extremely successful 3 years at the University Of North Carolina. Air Jordan was picked 3rd, yes 3rd, behind Hakeem Olajuwon and Sam Bowie, and Air Jordan began his NBA career with the Chicago Bulls and with Nike. After meeting with Nike founder Phil Knight, Air Jordan was on board.
Jordan 1
Peter Moore had the honor of designing the first Nike Air Jordan I. Banned by the NBA for not meeting league dress-code regulations, and fined $5,000 per game (paid for by Nike), the Nike Air Jordan I was bold,Air Jordan 12, black, and red with wings. In these Nike Air Jordan I shoes, a playoff record 63 points was scored against the Boston Celtics, the Rookie of the Year award was received as well as a starting position at the All-Star game, and the opening round of battles to come was foreshadowed at the Slam Dunk Contest. Most notable, a legend was born. Not just Air Jordan himself, but the shoes on his feet as well.
Jordan 2
The Nike Air Jordan II boasted the "Made In Italy" stamp and was the first to be offered in a low top version.
Jordan 3
Nike Air Jordan III had the touch of design genius from Tinker Hatfield, the Jumpan logo, Elephant print, and this third installment is what kept His Airness happy and with Nike.
Jordan 4
The Nike Air Jordan IV had "Flight" scripted on the tongue, and that's just what the shoe did: it was the first Nike Air Jordan to be marketed globally.
Jordan 5
The World War II Mustang fighter plane was the inspiration for the Nike Air Jordan V and was the first shoe to have His Airness' number scribed on the heel and had icy soles and a reflective 3M tongue.
Jordan 6
Air Jordan's first NBA Championship was won wearing the Nike Air Jordan VI.
Jordan 7
The Nike Air Jordan VII was actually more Air Jordan VII and less Nike, displaying no Nike Air branding on the shoe; something Nike wasn't too happy about.
Jordan 8
After wearing the Nike Air Jordan VIII, and achieving his first three-peat, His Airness decided to leave the game and venture into his baseball career marking his first retirement from the NBA. Although it wasn't worn on the hardwood.
Jordan 9
The Nike Air Jordan IX was converted to a baseball cleat for His Airness.
Jordan 10
The Nike Air Jordan X was the comeback shoe along with his return number of 45 and accomplishments through 1993 were scribed on the bottom. Prematurely displayed during the 1995 playoffs.
Jordan 11
The Nike Air Jordan XI was worn during the 1996 regular season; the same season where the Bulls accomplished a record breaking 72 wins, and only lost 3 games en route to the beginning of their second three-peat. Faux lizard, carbon shank plate, gold plated steel lace loops.
Jordan 12
No Nike at all, the Nike Air Jordan XII was the last of Nike and the beginning of Jordan Brand.
Jordan 13
The Black Panther inspired Air Jordan XIII had the cat eye hologram on the side and were used during His Airness' last run to the playoffs.
Jordan 14
And who could forget the game winning shot against the Utah Jazz and the last shoes worn as a Bull: the Air Jordan XIV.
Peter Moore had the honor of designing the first Nike Air Jordan I. Banned by the NBA for not meeting league dress-code regulations, and fined $5,000 per game (paid for by Nike), the Nike Air Jordan I was bold, black, and red with wings. In these Nike Air Jordan I shoes, a playoff record 63 points was scored against the Boston Celtics, the Rookie of the Year award was received as well as a starting position at the All-Star game, and the opening round of battles to come was foreshadowed at the Slam Dunk Contest. Most notable, a legend was born. Not just Air Jordan himself, but the shoes on his feet as well.
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