Put time where love is

During my 25 years as a marital（婚姻的） therapist,奥林匹克运动员 Olympic Athletes,传奇私服, I have seen hundreds of people disappointed over unfulfilling relationships. I have seen passion turn to poison. I have grieved with patients for the love they lost or never found.

"We seemed to love so much,传奇私服, but now it's gone," one woman lamented（哀悼） to me. "Why do I feel so lonely every night even when he is right there beside me? Why can't marriage be more than this?"

It can. I was once invited to the 60th-anniversary celebration of a remarkable couple. I asked the husband,传奇私服, Peter, if he ever felt lonely and wondered where the love between him and Lita had gone. Peter laughed and said,传奇私服, "If you wonder where your love went,生活随想,传奇私服, you forgot that you are the one who makes it. Love is not out there; it's in here between Lita and me."

I know we can love deeply,传奇私服,香港艺人卫诗吸毒在日本获刑2年, tenderly（温和地） and lastingly. I have seen such love,传奇私服, and I have felt such love myself. Here are the law I have discovered for such lasting and loving relationships---put time where love is.

A fulfilling marriage begins when two people make time together their No.1 priority. If we hope to find love,传奇私服, we must first find time for loving.

Unfortunately, current psychology rests on the model of the independent ego. To make a lasting marriage we have to overcome self-centeredness. We must go beyond what psychologist Abraham Maslow called "self-actualization" to "us-actualization". We have to learn to put time where love is.

Many couples have experienced a tragic moment that taught them to value their time together. One husband related how he sat trapped in his car after a crash. His wife was outside,传奇私服, crying and banging on the window. "I thought I was going to die before we had enough time together." He told me. "Right then I promised to make the time to love my wife. Our time is our own now,传奇私服, and those hours are sacred（神圣的） ."