head
and this made me irritable. With spit on her fingershe rubbed dirt from my cheekthen felt my forehead.
Are you sick? You seem feverish.
I'm not sick I said. I'm hot.
She went back to unraveling the mats of my hair. I glanced at her ropy
scarsher twisted mouth.
I pulled away. "I can clean myself I said.
She began to make hissing sounds.
Gone one week and now you 're so grown-up?
I snapped back: Of course. After allI'm about to be a married woman."
I heard. And not as a concubine but as a wife. That's good. I raised you welland everyone can see that.
I knew then that Mother had not told her the name of the family. She had to hear it sooner or later. "The
family is the Changs I said
watching the words cut her in two. That's rightChang the coffinmaker."
She sounded as if she were drowning. She rocked her head like a clanging bell. And then she told me
with slashing hands
You cannot. I forbid you.
It's not for you to decide,
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I shouted back.
She slapped methen pushed me against the wall. Again and againshe beat me on my shoulders
around my headand at first I whimpered and coweredtrying to protect myself. But then I became
angry. I pushed her back and stood tall. I drainedyilai:
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