I removed
Lelo Mona G-spot vibrator from its box, plugged it into its wall charger, let it charge for two hours, and, when it was done charging, I just carried it around for a while. Held it, waved it in the air, pushed all the buttons, tried the six different stimulation modes – all without actually using the thing. I held onto
Lelo Mona while my roommate and I watched stand-up comedy that night, trying desperately to find something wrong with it, something to prove that I was right and that this item was an unnecessary addition to my
adult ###### toys collection. But, I couldn’t. And do you know what happened instead? Instead, I found like eleventy hundred other uses for it. Like, you can use it as a microphone while singing to yourself in your bathroom mirror. And, because of the curved shape, you can pretend it’s a telephone and “call” your roommate from the other end of the couch. And, because it’s so powerful, you can use it as a neck massager. And, and! Because it’s light-weight and purple, you can use it as a magic wand. Seriously, it’s the most fun thing ever to wave around. Although, I don’t think my roommate appreciated me Harry Potter-ing it at her and commanding, “Abracadabra orgasm!” all night. Or maybe she secretly did. And maybe she now wants to make Harry Potter ########. Wait, I WANT TO MAKE HARRY POTTER ########!
God,
Mona is totally going to turn me into a masturbation addict.
Maybe I should try using
Lelo MONA and LILY at the same time. Girl on girl on girl threesome! I don’t think I could handle that kind of stimulation though. I’m obviously a very delicate flower. We’ll see.
Cool. Have at it. Oh, and in the meantime, here’s a video of me and my LELO MONA. But, not like that. Seriously Mom, I promise. But Mom, wait, maybe don’t watch it anyway. Because of the blow up doll. Yep, this video is reverse PG. As in, I am guidance-ing my parent away from watching it. You should probably do the same.
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