(R ) Mr Yu I let her take the initiative apt lear

Mr Yu: I let her take the initiative to learn the mystery, so parents have the look!


I was able to talk about family education in this experience, because I did too much contact with children. I teach at the university from the starting, New Oriental has to do later, to the eastern from the new going out now more than 700 million students. I've seen a lot of cheerful students, but also see a lot of the students was delayed; see the success of many parents because the child feel very merry, also saw many parents because the child is not successful and you'd prefer dead; I have seen many meager families Finally, because the child of promise and life's full of pleasure; I also see a lot of billionaire families, parents and even the last answer because the child suffering from schizophrenia. Many parents and I said, Yu teacher, I put all the money donated to you, at the peak of you can my child into a normal, happy child. I often say to them,40 men and women differences, now you say that it is too late, because the child is from birth to 18 years on the basic shape, all things must be done before the age of 18.
There is an old saying in China: 3-year-old to see a large, 7-year-old see old. Now the transformation of Chinese society at large time, from an agricultural society see into the affair community. And now the China commerce ethics and business ethics itself, without a complete understanding of the Chinese people in the business community in the swindling of the signs are everywhere. Many small businesses are caught in the medium of a fear, and in such a dread, how ought we teach our children? For example, we educate our children and sincere,Million apt discern namely the altitude large, but honesty and then the child bullied by others on the appearance; we educate our children good, the good results we found that children are not acknowledged by the society. We will reflect on, is not to educate children the opportunistic thing is to instruct children more aggressive than the point. Some of the things we adults do, sometimes unwittingly give children shows bad things, the child's own values ​​and world view, a important impact on the formation of life. Therefore, we educate our children approach a problem.
household schooling a altitude prerogative - the current role schooling
family education in China entered the era of very complex, there are standards of social and family there are standards, and that these standards also may be the bad standard . For example, our criterion is to require kid in the level into the top five, the child can be confessed as long as Beijing University and Tsinghua University is considered a success, to Harvard, Yale, the more successful. Although this is criterion, but in my opinion, is wrong standard. Why the misdeed, as it finally turned into a family's only standard. The child's growth there are many standards, for instance, if the virtuous character is a standard, whether individual health is a standard, things have creativity, imagination is a standard, there is no morale of bearing hardships, there is no diligence is a standard there fell to the ground and the morale of spunk to wake a standard. China is now the society, the limited success of a particular taper range, test scores for kids, good grades is the standard; kid five-year-old will melodrama the piano, you will be rewarded. The adult earth, we Chinese never have a man how many true friends as a standard of success, our adult world standard is that people have money, position, there is wealth.
I fell into such deep ache, numerous people said to me later seeing my premier words: Some folk calculate I am a medalist it? If I was a penniless, have to depend aboard their own effort to make money folk, would somebody come and acquaint me: friends, the real admission of my success. I individually consider he is a champion, no because I have a new East, I made money, yet I have a basic conviction in life, I all think I am a nice person, I am a human they have not malign thoughts , from small to massive, I have no done a object to impair others. Of way, periodically accidentally said something on the words hurt others, then it namely likely. Blurted out some words, other people ambition feel uneasy, I tin pardon to him, but the cursed asset namely I naturally have no done.
I think I succeeded the second point is that I am quite compliant to assist others. In fact, no material what rank a person is to assist others. I now can afford to contribute to the earthquake-stricken districts in Gansu 300 million, for construction of a new Gannan East Hope Primary School, I am willing to aid them. When we have nothing, you can help others. We always need to do things that they have to, but there is another course, I can give a easy instance. I grew up in particular fatigue of adore, I do farm go, do chores, when I was 14 years age, to get the planting of our shire competition, 17 years age, I was good shire tractor hand, my parents hard drive of my hard work. I am the person by far has been good alternatively bad, the instructors simply do not concern approximately me. But I ambition to rise to the consideration of teachers and students, so I've been up since the first grade study-room a health. To the North after I amplify a habit, dorm journal washing, the cleaning done it because four years. So we not row over health apartment duty table. In addition, every day, carrying my water bottle go to the students dormitory to fetch water and put it as a physical discipline. We accustom to see me paint water, and eventually there is the situation, sometimes I forgot to fetch water, the students said: lose something, because we are entire students and help every other for allowed. Some people mention I am silly, someone queried me what good hit. I trust the benefits will be, you do a good deed, it may emerge this year in return, is likewise possible that after 10 years. If you do a good action, the required return on the same day, then you must be a snob, who is also a narrow-minded. Do not anticipate everything in return awards will come. When you have a difficult time, people approximately you feel good, they can not approach out and help you? Of course, I fetch water and did not think I'm in difficulty they will come to help me. But 10 years after, in 1995, New Oriental has done a definite size, I hope to ascertain partners to go to the United States and Canada to ascertain those of my classmates. Then I came back specifically to lure them a lot of greenbacks for each day in the United States is very generous in spending money, let them kas long asChina can make money, so I think it probably will be competent to get them back. Later they came back, but gave me a very unexpected reasons. They said: We will not beverage porridge.
from my experience I would like to tell parents, if your child does not educate, out to stir up trouble, people will inform you of the child, said: New Oriental Foreign Language did not teach well, aunts and uncles did not teach well, people will say: After the problem children grow up, parents must be planted roots. The success of children with parents of children is closely relative to family education is correct. We teach children is to teach character and ethics, whether the child's good character and moral education is the opener to the success of the child life. As long as he was respected diagram, his life will live particularly well. Parents can think about is you want to be a popular person, or against a person to be everywhere? Many parents are education children almost petty, teach children to take advantage of, how to think of ways to teach children more than others, to crush on others, the final result is that children do not understand how to survive in this world. What you give a child, the child is the future what kind of person.
my daughter is now in the middle level of learning, but I never want to work as a daughter of the standard. My wife and I the opposite philosophy of education. My wife is the daughter into the top five will get furious, and I am just the opposite, my daughter the first 15 I am very happy every time I said to her daughter: 25 individuals, more powerful you are! Children can drag away from the real life large, people doing things with his character issues are related. Character of the set from the power of example,Supra Shoes, parents as role models children can not flee. We ask what the child has no efficacy, because the parents failed to do. For example, while the parents playing mahjong while scold their children to learn, the children certainly do not want to learn. When the father said: Why must I go to college it? Parents are their children the best example. But I encountered a lot of problems setting an example, my job is to use the microcomputer, but I turn on the microcomputer, my daughter will think I'm act other things. Although I tell my daughter is at work, but my daughter did not believe it. No way, at the peak of my daughter was learning, I took a writing next to my daughter see, this way, there is a sense in which the rules, models play a very important role.
my parents I play a very important role. My parents are not educated, but the advantage of parents who I monasteries, the criteria to be my life. I am in my father as an example. My father was a woodworker, is the skeleton beam, and he is 15 years around our specialists. My father was a can not compensation a happy person, because the planes were needed to have a large drink Leong, my father had a drinking pleasure not for money. Because not return the money to get home, my mother told my father fought, my father looked muscular, my mother is very thin, the results every time my father beat my mother, my father never fight back. I learned from my father, no matter what others say, he primarily does not matter, at any time not hurt my mother. My mother is particularly strong individuality who sometimes say I hear all kind of uncomfortable, but my father never even had a mouth. So, how my wife is training me, I is not talk back, and I think I should learn from his father. His father's generosity became one of the advantages to me. My mother brought me something more, there are two things that I learned from an early age. First, diligent and heroic. The city's parents that their children home education is the most industrious and brave heart of things. A lot of people would say, even our children are too busy to learn lessons, how industrious and brave ah? I have done to help him home, and how hard he was brave ah? Although I am now the conditions are favorable, but I still think of ways to let their children are industrious and brave. Like me at that time, you do not work, then to starve to death, preordained to the rustic context that I do not need my parents would do it.
my mommy brought me to the second point, to be helpful. My mother is a special person to help others, a child there are two things impressed me the most. The first thing, and once the next huge rainstorm, I was eight or 9, this time the most vulnerable children affected along their parents. At the time, basking in every household of corn, my mother took my sister, me, my father, we put together a family of four neighbors are all taken away the rice, until the rice to receive our family and found that rice has been poured watery. At that time I did not know, my mother gave me about two things, ahead of, people have a difficult time you must help people, not their home, and if we do not help their proceeds, their home will be leaching of food a year watery. Second, if the neighbors get onward well, is not possible in times of difficulties help each other. My mother told me with real deed, The second thing, crop failure one year, our family is less than 20 pounds of food, the mother half of the food actually ceded to the neighbor, I was very loath, and the mother said: less, you can use mingled vegetables with rice to eat, many people and there is no rice adjoin, regardless of their rice to the starving people will be. They think we are good people. To the present, my mother is the most respected people in our village.
do any one thing, you must think about it, I did not hurt others. For example, we adults sometimes like to say that neighbors and colleagues in the back ill, and when that does not evade the child. I told my wife to such a situation occurred, we discuss the East West at home parents is short, which people of good character, which one character is not good, which were stingy, which were not cheap. Once the results came back my daughter from school, the students told me what her class is good, which is not good students, which students miserly, which students snob. I told her that we can not say bad things about the students, the students every day with you, their body's shortcomings if you think you in my heart, more importantly, you have to learn the advantages of students. My daughter swiftly ask: Since then I told my wife set a rule, can not talk in front of children the shortcomings of others, some other good things to say.
cultivate children's love of life - feeling Education
As mentioned on, is now a top priority of family education to do is to educate children with good character, and the second is to the heart of education. My daughter was connate more introverted, is a very calm child, my son is very junket, climbed up and down several times every day, my daughter do things slowly, my son is more peevish, which are inherently different. In addition, the child's IQ is different, I have not seen my daughter and son have any IQ inconsistencies, because they are relatively small age gap. We will see in this situation, in a class, some children will always be the first or second, his intelligence is really high. And no matter how hard our kids are in the middle, or even after. In such circumstances, how should parents do? Child is different, but at a time your child not to the moron level, by the time the children into the classroom can be a regular, able to make important event. Hu is only two months on the example of school, but eventually became the most powerful businessmen, but also berth great wants, this is a good example.
I was vice chancellor of the Chinese Entrepreneurs Association, the Association has extra than a thousand entrepreneurs, Peking University Tsinghua University Fudan graduate fewer than twenty, and the rest are all academy graduates, and even the peasants, workers, academy students, secondary educate students, etc., but they have chance successful entrepreneurs. Therefore, education can only be decided as part of life, can not resolve anything.
our parents must have a skill, in any case, both to shove their children to progress, while maintaining the child's self from injure. You must ensure that the child first happy, even the last one was happy to let the children feel that life is beautiful in the world, to improve children's love of life, is one of the most important missions parents. American film Once he met a New York Stock Exchange laughs in front of the person, that person is a stock broker, stock broker when he was very happy that, so he worked to when a stock broker. Later, he met a stock broker training in the people, the man began to look down on him, and later found him playing Rubik's cube is very powerful, and this person happens to have the same hobby, they were the person's Cube skills profoundly attracted, the two of them became good friends. The people have won the opportunity to become America's most famous stock broker, to achieve a billionaire's nightmare.
This movie is based on the true story, and in the film's end, the man spent half an hour to tell his own story. He inspired each of us, true happiness is not sent by someone another, but his efforts earned. And now the parents of the child is very spoiled child whatever I ask. Fancy a doll such as a child, parents do not purchase he does not go, no way the parents can only give the final buy. So this child will have a psychological, as long as he insisted the parents will be surrenders. I buy things before her son, will examine what he is reasonable, if the firm is not unreasonable to buy, if you can not be reasonably easy to buy him, I must let the child complete a task was to buy him. For example my daughter to school in a alien nation, the class of children each have a laptop. Although my home desktop computers, laptop computers but would be more handy, but not short of money at home, do not buy her is not right. I told her that Daddy will buy you, but you know, this world is not without paying anything, you are now a big boy, you need to get what you want to disburse labor. If she can narrate 30 New Oriental English inspirational articles to buy her. Results less than two weeks, she was back in poetry, and I bought it for her laptop. This form of education so that children learn to pay to get the truth, but also the way the kids like to do another thing into her power.
appropriate to encourage and influence the unlimited potential - to encourage education
on how to encourage children to question, I first tell a fable. United States, a notable physicist, beginning in junior high school physics, his physical performance is poor, had only a 8 points. Physics teacher talked with him and let him take physics. Students learn that I do not like is bad, the teacher particularly clever, he told the student, other students are 60 minutes pass, the next time you fair pass the examination to 9 points even. Students in a agenda I can be a nail to be able to pass, it is cozy, so I coincided, the results of the exam the next 28 points. Although 28 points, the teacher still no reason to applause him in front of the class, because whether or not pass marks. The teacher is very smart, she let the class to the last results of the examination results and make a subtraction, the last test 90, this is 90, a mow is 0, the last 95, the 93, a Less is 2, so that the ultimate diluted to 20 points the rest of a student, that is, the students. Teacher test scores of all students twice a difference on the embark, ask a question: points. This encouragement has not insult the color, but also a great incentive color. The students look to excited, he wanted to test whether my class 48,68,88 are the most improved, I have many chamber for improvement. The teacher did a natty thing, the children feel a extensive room for correction, from the child liked physics, and eventually became one of the world's greatest physicists.
of education is very important teachers, but parents of education is more important, more emphasis on the parents because the child's every move.
me give a simple example. If your child is the last class, how do you remedy your child? The responses are most parents and hammer or scold repast. Children understand they are wrong, but there is no way, he had 0 points test you how to do? He also persisted to hurt you, in the end he might not learn. I recommend that parents friends think about standing up long-term perspective, the first and the last one in the end the number of breaches. Do not college kids on the unpromising life additionally? Absolutely not! Like I said, at a time the child a good education, regardless of what is of agree. I can give examples of their own. In the college entrance checkup, I did not arrange the first year, not admitted to the second year, third year was admitted. I spent three years and my classmates fight for a year, when I graduated at the university, our class of 50 students, I was fifth last class, but the results did not hinder me make my vocation .
human growth is a lifetime thing, definitely not you in basic school, the University received a score decision. Score is very important for children, but not because the child scores low on the view that a mere lad. Parents must be varied, to determine your success. Children with high scores is one of the criteria of success, but do not use it as a necessary standard, but not as the only criteria. Otherwise your children would be numerous injuries, because any one examination only one first. If a class has 40 students, are in addition to the first, the remaining 39 children are fool? Is failure? Absolutely not! So I have a expression of self-mockery: In fact, when the first also is not easy, because he went so hard, Wang Qianmian a look, people do not have a arrest up, to the back of a look, the whole class in the pursue themselves, chase own die than living, so there is no good when the first of. When the last more than one happy Yeah, a look inward, is to recover the dead than alive, by their own people back and saw a man chasing his own do not, you want this kind of life more chic it!
course, this view can not be said the child, you must learn how to encourage their children. The last test first, the next time I will encourage him to the penultimate test, this time he was 20 points test, the next time I will encourage him to test 30 points. Do not say your children, this test was 60 points, you tell him not test the next 90 minutes do not enter the house. You say so, of course, some children tried to learn, but some children can not reach 90 points like mad, then how can he do? What really would not let him enter the house? You must let him enter the house, you let him enter the house manner that you talk to does not calculate, since the child will know, my mother and dad are talking does not calculate, then I do not care since he will not let me anyway enter the house, so parents are a child pierced.
so parents must memorize clearly, you must not let the children live and eat, what to indeed not to do. Educate children and assimilated animals are exactly the same, many parents do not like a zoo beast trainer. Animal trainer animal trainer in two ways, first, to encourage and total encouragement; second, finite, or even punishment. I once asked a assimilated dolphin trainer, why he exercising of dolphins leaping from the water, and drilling from the circle so high in the past? In fact, he said the dolphins do not begin, he put that ring on the water, and training of dolphins who were drilling in the elapse give it a fish, no drilling is not the last to eat. Dolphins are not fatuous, and presently academic to eat fish the way, and later fashioned a variety of dolphin conditioned reflex. Of course, animals certainly not as smart as we, like, for example, I tell you, this ring you are drilling in the past, I let you on the North, you are sure to drill later, because you know this thing in your prefer. Dolphins will not know the relationship between interest, but understand the principle of dolphins, as long as I drilled this ring I had fish, no drilling in the past will go hungry. Followed by an animal trainer from the water put half of the circle, so that the dolphins continue to drill. Dolphins are not found in the water cycle, and can only bound. Gradually, the circle is increasing, probably put 10-20 times a year all but, the exercise of dolphins jumping circle is complete. We have not placarded, when watching the dolphin show, who jump from the ring of dolphins will swim to the side members to be domesticated fish, because it can eat that matter every jump.
dolphins from the example above, parents should understand the principle of encouraging and limited to the process of educating the children is very important. For example, children had 0 points, you must encourage children to consider the next 10 hours, the child of a thought, consider the 10 points was very easy, you can multiplication some conditions. For example, the children love to eat McDonald's,The 1st prostitute ... ... ... ... ... ..., you can use it as a temptation, promised the children to test 10 points to take him to eat McDonald's, and then add the child's score a tiny bit to go. For example, test your child for 60 minutes, you do not say next time you want to test to 90 minutes, or the child gave it. You want your child, and 60 minutes has been beautiful good, next time you can not take 70 minutes, I do not put your classes in the students than I look at your progress today than yesterday, and you progress morrow than today, this depicting a child's scores will go up. He went up a little of each, you must encourage him. When a lower score on the test, you should tell the child, this may be the occasional blunder, parents patronize you, do not hurt the passion of children to learn.
to encourage the same time, parents must set rules for children. My son especially likes to eat ice emulsion, my wife let him eat a lot every day, to eat bad teeth. I do not go on like this approach to require him to eat an ice cream one day only, and must be half an hour after banquet to eat. My son was just 4 year old, do not know what the conception of half an hour. I told him, that long walk where the needle is half an hour. While my son look at that timer, half an hour peruse 100 times. Finally coming to a half hour, and can not await to eat the ice cream. The next day, they become read a dozen times, and to become the third day to see two or three times, and the fourth day he knew that anyway, do not eat temporary fad to go for amusement, until he remembered to eat when the half-hour has passed. As long as the right thing to do, parents should encourage children to give their children the same time set the rules. After established the rules, parents must not be arbitrarily changed, alteration will be a problem.
Finally, I want to speak about the other parent will commit a wrong, shrieked to syndrome. Parents want their children into a small special talent, in fact, this is a parent's pretension at play. Chinese parents will be guilty of the two problems, first thing he will not let any children will, I hope the child in a field of completion. So many parents to coerce their children to this school from primary school that, no averaging. Child's most major is to let him grow up slowly. My daughter likes to play the piano, began playing from the old of 5, playing impact on the taste, and was admitted to a class, every week classes, sit for one hour each time could not move, the results of my daughter slay all interest in playing the piano out. My daughter did not want to study, but my wife forced her to study. I asked my wife, your children over the old of 10 when the piano ten, I ask after her 10-year-old is also learning not to learn to play the piano? If she does not learn after the age of 10, then 1-year-old from her piano courses to 10-year-old what's the use? If you do not want children to develop into a magnificent pianist, you let the children via the age of 10 ten tests is not justified. Second, you let the children learn so let her lose interest in the piano, she does not love playing the piano. My daughter said, Dad does not force you to learn, do not let you Grading Test. Dad regret this life thing is not playing one instrument, play a melodious instrument can decide reduced. Learning the piano is to make you Grading principle, but to help you find a aisle to express sensibilities. Future, you will enter social circles, if you can sing at a friend when the piano accompaniment, so you will get the esteem of others. If you do not want to learn, can not maintain your current class. My daughter is very like the piano, and the delegation tired to play the piano for half an hour. After that she once every week with a teacher, learning the piano speed up condensed the interest.
summary, family education, character education is most important, followed by the feeling of education, and the third is to encourage education. Finally, the parents let the child learn to suffer.
Finally, I want to tell parents friends, you take everything, your life, wealth, status, left to the child, your child will not necessarily happy life. You only teach your child how to be a successful person, teach your child learn to pursue their own goals, learn to enjoy to achieve goals further happiness and fulfillment, your child will be really happy.