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　　今年26岁的小徐在太原一家事业单位上班，去年6月研究生毕业走向工作岗位的她是一个职场新人。原以为 春节回家亲友会更关心她的工作情况，没想到，刚一到家就被父母安排了一场相亲。

　　沟通交流化解差异
　　两代人对于婚恋观的不同理解，有走向合理和进步的一面，也有在消费文化冲击之下，诸如拜金等一些不良倾 向。
　　情感专家龚海燕认为，婚恋是一生中严肃的大事，不管目前处于什么样的生活状态，都应该以平和心态坦然对 待婚恋，无需有过大压力，更不应盲目决定,burberry women。
　　龚海燕建议，“被逼婚”的“80后”首先应放下思想包袱，回归平和心态，并与父母及时交流，将自己的真 实想法和婚恋观念传递给家人，争取他们理解的同时也为自己减压。同时，建议单身一族不要“守株待兔”，可以 更主动一些，拓展交际范围，走出自己的小天地，在更充分的范围内寻找到最适合自己的婚恋对象，走出婚恋困境 。(记者李建平)
　　“不只是父母，还有亲友，见面第一句话就是找对象了没？你看你哪个表妹去年嫁了，哪个堂妹都有孩子了。 ”小徐很不解，“他们对女孩子的定位仍然是家庭为主，如果嫁人是第一位的话，我还读研干什么？”

　　“父母结婚时是集体主义时期，结婚首先考虑的是对方的职业、家庭背景、年龄，通常是为了结婚而结婚，但 我更个人主义一点，希望要有感觉，有默契，有共同话语和精神交流。”吴昊说。
　　女性受教育年限的增长和经济的独立也成为“剩女”增多的重要原因。王芸给记者算了一笔账：“如果我不结 婚，将照顾夫家和孩子的精力用在发展事业上,salvator ferragamo，我的收入足以保证我过上自足的生活和养老。在我父母那个年代，女性的工作机会相对较少，但在 我这个年代,南宁警方破三起造假 农药化肥日系车配件均假，我拥有的选择很多。我不是不想结婚，我只是不希望嫁给我的年龄，或者嫁给一个饭碗。”
　　“我爸爸妈妈结婚的时候，租个房子，骑着自行车就行了，当时物质生活水平不高,ugg boots adelaide 南京理工禁骑自行车惹学生质疑 校，结婚成本低。而今结婚的门槛，尤其是大城市结婚的门槛高了很多，需要房子、车子，让我压力很大。”周一江 说。
　　当下年轻人结婚的高成本也使得一部分年轻人徘徊在婚姻门口。周一江在北京工作，月收入八千，因为在北京 买不起房，屡次相亲失败，最终还是没有找个女友回家过年。


　　国内某大型婚恋网站对上海、北京、广州三地51628位20岁以上单身男女进行问卷调查显示，超过九成 的未婚青年在春节团聚时会被家人问到是否有男(女)朋友，被父母直接“逼婚”的占七成。
　　“你嫁，或者不嫁人，你妈总在那里，忽悲忽喜；你剩，或者不剩下，青春总在那里，不来只去。”王芸在微 博上自嘲道。刚刚过完三十岁生日的她在南京一家银行工作，收入较为丰厚，有自己的朋友圈和业余爱好，早就习 惯了单身的自由时光。她觉得自己一个人过得够精彩，却受不了春节时亲友异样的目光，一急之下，干脆独自去海 南旅游躲“逼婚”了。



　　两代婚恋观的变迁

　　不只是单身女青年,82岁老太捡到900余元 苦寻3个月亲手交还失主，男青年同样面临此种压力。吴昊三十岁出头，在北京工作，经历过一次感情挫折后，没有再遇到过动心的对象， 一直在等着合适的人出现,salvatore ferragamo shoe sale，父母却等不及，拿着他的照片去白马公园参加相亲会是他父母现在主要的生活内容。今年过年回家，父母总共给 他安排了九场相亲，最多一天见了三个。

　　“我一点也不想去，可是架不住我妈苦口婆心、声泪俱下，最后不得不去见了一面，我说对对方一点好感都没 有，父母又催我去相第二个、第三个……到了初三，我实在受不了了，跟父母推托 说要回去值班，逃难似地回到单位。”想起跟完全陌生的人相亲时的尴尬难堪，小徐至今心有余悸。

　“可怜天下父母心，每逢佳节被逼婚。”春节返工后，不少年轻白领都把自己的签名档改成了这句话。“被逼婚 ”的恐慌感，让不少都市白领的春节变成了“春劫”，成为他们“恐归”的重要原因,boots ugg。社会学家和情感专家认为，“每逢佳节被逼婚”的背后是两代人对于婚姻的不同理解，折射出当下婚恋观的变迁 。




　　“我跟父母说，对她们没有感觉，不想结婚，父母觉得不可理解，他们认为只要对方人品好，各方面条件差不 多，就可以结婚了。我们有各自的逻辑，互相很难说服对方。”吴昊说。

　　中国人民大学社会学系教授周孝正认为，现在的年轻人大多生长在独生子女家庭，追求个人主义，不急于承担 家庭责任，对婚姻的态度自然就不够积极。但他们的父母却刚好相反，因为只有这一个孩子,buy karen millen dress，所以希望子女尽快结婚生子，传宗接代。这种子女对婚姻积极性降低和父母对子女结婚期待变高的矛盾因此愈演 愈烈，这种矛盾在很长时间内都不可能消除。
　　“剩斗士”遭遇“被逼婚”

　　周孝正认为，“男大当婚，女大当嫁”是一种合理社会化的程序，在消费文化的冲击下，结婚变成了拜金主义 ，这是不合理的。周孝正推崇“兄妹开荒式”的家庭关系，也就是一对男女文化相似、年龄相仿，通过自由恋爱结 婚，共同携手筚路蓝缕打拼事业。

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Asia (Ben Wang Mo Xuan Ma Yuan) has previously healthy children paralyzed in bed, his wife also fell ill due to cerebral hemorrhage, and 70-year-old Huang Yumei did not give them, she stays with love from this home. Since 1994, three family members are ill at home, the Huang Yumei Lian Zhouzhuan started life 6 am and get up to 3 people cook feeding, catheterization and scrub, in order to relieve the pressure, the old man cried every day at home singing.
14 morning, the reporters came to Urumqi in Bavaria Road, near the Park District Meeting Min Huang Yumei elderly people, old people are busy kitchen, the second daughter of Liu Ping in a wheelchair, bowed legs atrophy , his wife leaning on the sofa eyes closed. Huang Yumei told reporters that he had just returned home to his son Liu Jun while stocks in the breakfast.
a three stand up

Huang Yumei is the supply and marketing cooperatives Urumqi retired workers, her husband Simon Lau Man-hin is the largest trading center of the retired workers, the couple have three girls and a boy 4 children.
1983, 22-year-old son, Liu Jun appeared trembling hands, legs weary weak situation. In 1984, the 25-year-old second daughter, Liu Ping also appeared to lose control of the symptoms of lower extremity stiffness. Couple with two kids running all over the capital of major hospitals, but did not receive effective treatment.
Unfortunately, one after another, year, Huang Yumei Wen-Xuan Liu husband also paralyzed in bed because of a brain haemorrhage. In 1996, the son of Liu Jun Huang Yumei's only live a wheelchair.
a 3 individuals stand up, this is undoubtedly a bolt from the blue for Huang Yumei.
doctor to no avail, Huang Yumei can only take care of their diet every day living, the Gesanchawu to the hospital to find experts to ask whether there are drugs for treatment. The eldest daughter of work completed each day to find information they got into bookstores to buy medicine for his brother and sister find therapy, as long as a little girl back home to help her housework.
six o'clock get busy all day

After she day early, middle and late running back and forth with his son at home in their own homes between the care of 3 people. path of life like a day: get up to six daily cleaning house again, went to morning market to buy food, good breakfast, fed his wife and daughter, and then rushed home holding a 500-meter boxes son went home, fed his son dinner and help his son to eat until after they wash catheterization. Noon and night, repeat the process.
Liu Jun living alone with a wry smile: son because there is no effort, boring time,levis jean, can only bench propped on the balcony to see the outside landscape. Because they can not go out,cheap true religion online, he and his father had not seen each other five or six years.
My principle is eat meat, no meat to hold on. community often said that difficult to find them, but I do not want to give you more trouble.
the past two years, daughter,true religion mens jeans, son and his wife's legs are shrinking too serious, urine can not take care of themselves, and sometimes Laniao in the pants, and Huang Yumei matter more than taste unpleasant, with a total is fast to them for a good, clean. Huang Yumei interview with reporters in the house, very neat to see her family, talking with the elderly, she found her sweater, the old man smiled and said: the body. in the class to row five. Although the students did a variety of checking him no problem, but still a little worried.
Today, children's health, living expenses and his wife Huang Yumei game of retirement income. See, I ask for much,true religion jeans, as long as the child leaning on the wall around and I can meet.
paralyzed in bed looking at three relatives, Huang Yumei the heart also is not too happy,true religion outlet, in order to ease the pressure on the heart, Huang Yumei has also developed a daily habit of singing aloud at home. comfortable lot.
Thailand and communities where the elderly secretary Patiguli said Huang Yumei has been a focus of helping the community object to her house every month to visit the community will be the special circumstances of the family, community can only help them in their daily lives. And let the community is the most moving and love the strong yellow aunt, she never trouble to the community,true religion sale, is a popular and respected mother.