Replica D&G Sunglasses We Will Not Fight This Holi

FROM: Certainty (I understand) TO: Curiosity (Help me understand)
o For starters, holidays are times of high feelings now matter who we are so hidden resentments can rise to the surface faster than normal.
Judy Ringer's checklist may help you prepare for that difficult conversation.
FROM: I know what was intended TO:I know the impact
Double Bottom Line for Rising Above the Fray
We Usually Don't Say What We Really Feel ...
... But We Can Still Argue Because of How We Feel
FROM: I am right TO: I am curious
3. The Blame Frame: Blame the other person. Then each person gets defensive or worse, stops listening and hardens their position Replica D&G Sunglasses, now more motivated to prove they are right.
FROM: Simplicity TO: Complexity
When she frowns she may simply be thinking - unlike another familiar figure in your life who frowns when upset.
Recall, when crossing the street, how many motorists drive too fast and don't stop for pedestrians? Yet, when driving, you notice how many people jaywalk, dawdle across the street or cross when the light is red.
o On top of that problems seldom exist at the level at which they are expressed.
In Difficult Conversations participants often make at least one of three sabotaging assumptions, according to by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen:
Rather than a ########-friendly question to highlight his ignorance, a sarcastic retort, shouting or silently seething - try alleviating the friction that's at the core of the conflict. After all you chose to marry him. I'm not saying it's easy. Yet unsettled resentments usually cause two-way sabotage, in the moment and in the future, so it is worth trying something different to save the relationship.
To reduce the chance of conflict, shift:
Rather than becoming defensive - a natural reaction - attempt to see the world their way.
o In fact, if you are arguing for more than ten minutes you are probably not discussing the real, underlying conflict.
Tip: Step into the other person's shoes.
This data is entered into the Daily Weigh-In Form, which I introduced last posting. Here's the form again:Let's focus on the concept of necessity.In the fourth column, you assign each purchase a Necessity Score: 0 if the purchase is totally unnecessary, 1/3 if it's not very necessary, 2/3 if it's pretty necessary, and 1 if it's entirely necessary.There is, of course, a certain subjectivity to assigning necessity scores; the decision will depend to some extent on your psychological awareness, even on your existing debt level and your present and future expenses. But here's a rough guide. If you fell and broke your leg during the week, the check to the orthopedist would be entirely necessary; you'd give that a Necessity Score of 1.
1. Look to their positive intent, especially when they appear to have none.
You are more likely to prove yourself right. The opposite is also true. Know that, in fractious situations we instinctively expect others to treat us as if we have good intentions. (Innocent until proven guilty.) Yet, wired as we are to survive, we often are slower to trust others' intentions until we get proof. (Guilty until proven innocent.)
Understanding the structure of the conversation as all parties appear to be viewing it. Begin by practicing Stephen Covey's fifth habit, "Seek first to understand then to be understood."
It's often about assumptions and perspective.
We may think our wants equal our needs. In other words, that we just have to have a certain pair of shoes or gadget to be happy, successful, etc. While this can seem simple when we're talking about basic needs like shelter and food, it can get murky when we're looking at other items. Here's an easy way to really get conscious about determining the difference between a need and want.Weighing In is a technique for cutting through the financial fog that envelops so many overshoppers. Weighing In involves the disciplined recording of purchases-and something more. You also categorize each purchase, choosing from a master list that groups expenses into logical bins: Home, Food, Clothing, Entertainment, Education, and so on. And you assign each purchase a Necessity Score Cheap Milwaukee Brewers Hats Mediolanum - The City, based on your dispassionate evaluation of how much you need it. (Need, not want.)
FROM: "Either/or" TO: "And"
FROM: Debate TO: Exploration
1. The Truth assumption: I am right you are wrong.
2. Don't let somebody else determine your behavior.
We're More Emotional This Time of Year (Even Men - They Just Demonstrate it Differently)
FROM: I know who is to blame TO: I know who contributed what
Tip: Act as if the other person has your best interests at heart.
Here's some ways we stumble into arguments - and how to stay convivial:
2. The Intention Invention: When the other person's intentions are unclear, we often assume they have bad intentions.