别让孩子一个人长大_王晖龙_新浪博客

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看到小孩子美丽而又好奇地睁大着眼睛,用手轻触一下他的脸蛋,paul smith online,柔软而柔嫩,再加上小家伙的不哭不闹宁静可恶,夏琴会忽然感到自己也想要生一个小孩.她马上就要结婚了, 年纪已经不小,甚至都过了"最佳的生育春秋",身在京城这是没措施的事情,天天都要疲于奔命,为了发明美好 未来而斗争不已,结婚、生育这些事件天然只能一直地推后,再推后.夏琴不乏机遇接触到这些小孩,从襁褓中的 婴儿到蹒跚学走的小家伙,再到背着小书包上幼儿园的古灵精怪的小王子小公主们,有共事的,有同窗的,还有亲 戚的,每每和这些小孩子密切接触之后,她就会在心里打算一番自己的"生养大计",开头的假想是很美妙的,想 到后来则多半是个苦情的终局.一旦想到,为了生孩子,gucci gucci,她最少得有多少个月的时光不能工作,即便生完孩子后能够顺利回去上班,一个摆在眼前的最大困难便是如何照 顾孩子.无论是自己的妈妈,仍是婆婆,都可以是照顾小宝宝的人选,然而一想到要进行这种"隔代"教育,并且 她们都没法长期留在北京照料孩子,而是把孩子带回老家去带,夏琴就认为这完全无奈接受.由于在她的字典里, 再苦再累,孩子必定要自己带大.
夏琴之所以有这种意识,是和她的亲自经历分不开的.夏琴小的时候,爸爸妈妈因为工作的原因,把她放在奶奶家 ,那时候夏琴不外只有一岁多.所以从她开端记事起,那个心疼她的人就是那位满头斑白头发的奶奶,背着她走进 走出,直到她要上初中的时候才又回到父母身边.在夏琴的心里,童年是最大的伤痛,她跟父母,特别是妈妈,永 远都像是隔着什么,不能像别的母女那样亲亲切热地搂着抱着,说着笑着,走在街上,她素来都不敢去拉起妈妈的 手,因为感觉异样生疏.所以在夏琴还很小的时候就想过,未来她做了妈妈一定要把孩子亲自带大,一定要让孩子 跟自己特别地亲,要能够像所有幸福的家庭那样,一家人在一起.
是啊,家象征着什么呢?家的含意不就是一家人在一起,孩子跟爸爸妈妈在一起吗?这是一个小孩子都能清楚的情 理,然而很多家长却不懂.那些把孩子不带在身边的家长总有足够的理由,好比为了工作,比方为了让孩子有个更 好的成长环境……但孩子并不需要这些,孩子需要的就是爸爸妈妈看着自己游玩,放学后能够回到家里给爸爸妈妈 讲在学校里发生的故事,孩子要的就是火车不要带走来看他/她的爸爸妈妈.孩子的需要,可以归纳为一句话,那就是不要让他/她一个人在"孤单"中长大.
身为人母、身为人父的爸爸妈妈们,你们可听到了孩子的吆喝!在你们阔别的日子里,孩子在无数个夜晚的梦里, 不停地翻过一座座的深谷,站在山顶上瞭望着爸爸妈妈住的城市,无论怎么喊叫都得不到回应;孩子在一个个白天 里,爱慕地看着人家一家人坐在一起说说笑笑时,mbt shoes clearance,忍不住哭着跑回"家",不停地在嘴里呢喃着"爸爸"、"妈妈".也许跟着孩子逐步长大,他/她终将理解你们的苦心,但那又怎么样?理解,能够补充所有吗?懂得能够还给孩子一个没出缺憾感的童年吗?不 能.或者孩子基本就不乐意去理解,并且,在小时候就缺乏来自父母之爱的孩子,有可能会形成自私、冷淡的心理 ,形成有缺陷的人格,其恶劣影响将连续毕生,重大者更可能做出极真个事情来.
2009年11月23日晚上,北京大兴产生一起震惊全国的灭门惨案,行凶者李磊先是持刀朝妻子的颈部连刺数 刀,而后,他又杀戮了亲生妹妹、父母跟自己的两个孩子.是什么起因让他对自己的亲人痛下毒手?在有着中国犯 法心理画像第一人之称的中国国民公安大学教学李玫瑾看来,在于李磊自身人格的缺陷,而其人格缺点的形成,与 他早年的阅历有关.李磊是随着奶奶长大的,父母不参加到他的人格建构中去,因为奶奶的宠溺,李磊构成了良多 被宠坏的孩子的共同特色,第一好逸恶劳,第二性格大,第三想干什么就干什么.然而,从新回到父母身边当前, 李磊立刻就面临一种完整不同的被对待方法,就是父亲那种严苛暴力性的对待,从一个极端被抛到另一个极其,所 以他对父母没有情感.奶奶的宠爱与父母严格管教造成的强力落差,让李磊的心里形成了潜在难以弥合的创伤,长 此以往造成了他叛逆的性情.
当然了,并不是说所有的孩子,假如不是父母亲身己带,就会呈现特殊恐怖的效果,事实中也不乏"隔代"教导仍 然可能结出好果子的案例.咱们在这里只是给你一个提示,如果你不筹备陪着孩子一起"长大",就必需做出承当 这种"可能的恶劣成果",不要到时候才晓得懊悔.如果你可以接收这种成果,那么能够"持续"坚持你当前看待 孩子的状况(或打算);如果你不乐意在事后后悔,那么就把孩子留在本人身边.
兴许,有人会说,没有哪一位妈妈会狠心让孩子不在自己身边,只是现实前提不容许罢了.孩子跟在自己身边很可 能意味着一起受罪,并且因为要工作的缘故也不可能老是陪着孩子.这里想说的是,在孩子的意识里,很少会有贫 困和富饶的感到,而只有"快活"和"一家人"这些概念,小孩子没有太多的物资请求,他/她最需要的就是父母的陪伴,父母在艰巨条件下的拼搏精力和一家人的彼此关心,倒是十分有助于孩子完美人格的 形成.另外,就是即使孩子在白天由长辈照顾,晚上和周末也要由自己来带.一位母亲说得好:"再苦再累也要自 己亲自带,这样才干真正交换好,jimmy choo purses,做到母子连心,否则固然是自己生但不自己养,感情也深不到哪去的."
是啊,与其说孩子须要爸爸妈妈陪同他/她成长,不如说爸爸妈妈们更迷恋孩子.有了孩子在身边,看着他/她一每天长大,一家人的生涯才会多姿多彩.究竟,孩子的成长今生只有一次,错过了就错过了,不能让这成为永 远的遗憾.
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Reprinted from alumni of the user at 10:32 on September 11, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary

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134202 2006 年 07 月 07 日 23:26 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
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