Forgiving is one of the hardest things we have to do, but that's because we try to accomplish it with feelings instead of an act of the will.
I'd like you to try a simple experiment.
Only when you're willing to admit that this is self-destructive behavior are you ready to start dealing with it. When you understand that periodically renewing your old hurts makes as much sense as walking on sharp pebbles will you be ready to stop punishing yourself.
You owe yourself that.
But if we were lugging that backpack full of rocks around, more likely they'd say
new era fitted hats sale The Best Men's Fashion Trends For 2010_1562, "What's the matter with you? Stop doing that to yourself." Actually, that's probably what they're thinking when you pull out your old grudges for the umpteenth time.
Sedu hair styles that go with this image should be simple, yet elegant, expressing your personality and beauty in every situation. The most popular hair styles are tight bun and low ponytail.To create a Formal Sedu hair style follow these steps:1. Wash and condition your hair;2. Let it air dry, or make a cool blow dry;3. Apply some styling mousse, and blow dry the hair for 3-5 min with the cool set;4. Make low-pony tail with some elastic band, twist the tail around the band and secure it with pins. Use no hair accessories, if you want to look absolutely formal, or add some jeweled pins for happy and friendly occasions, like weddings;5. You may leave the pony tail lose, only hide elastic band under some neat hair accessory.After you've finished all steps, you receive formal Sedu hair style, which creates an impression of the beautiful, yet serious woman, who makes everything perfect in her life.
So why do we carry grudges? Why do we refuse to forget a slight somebody inflicted on us in the past, perhaps years ago?
When you look at it in terms of real physical harm, like the fatigue and pain caused by the backpack and pebbles, it's easy to see the danger. But when it's psychological pain, we tend to underestimate it
Famous Hats, even though that can increase your stress level, make you susceptible to high blood pressure, and leave you feeling exhausted at the end of the day.
Finally, acknowledge that like whiskey to an alcoholic, even a little wallowing in your old grudges can be deadly. You have much more control of your mind than you give yourself credit for. When you become alert to the these damaging thoughts, you're better able to stop them in their tracks.
For the second part of the experiment, find some small pebbles, the sharper the better. Put a dozen or so in each of your shoes, then put your shoes back on. Now, wear this backpack and those pebbles in your shoes for the rest of your life.
How to let it go
First, get an empty backpack and fill it full of stones. If you don't have access to stones, you can use potatoes, canned food, or whatever else is handy, until it weighs about 30 pounds.
Forgive, forget, or both?
Outrageous? Stupid? Masochistic? Of course it is. So why would you do exactly the same thing by holding a grudge against someone?
The first step in ridding yourself of these psychological anchors is to recognize that the only person being hurt here is you certainly not the person who harmed you. There's no nobility in making yourself miserable. There's no reward in resurrecting painful memories, except a dose of fresh pain.
The next step is to care more about your present and your future than about your past. Why ruin today and tomorrow with regrets from yesterday? Happiness is not just a matter of doing positive things. It also requires that we stop doing negative things.
Forgiving is always in your best interest. It stops the grudge from doing you future harm. That doesn't mean you'll forget. Forgiving still leaves a scar. Refusing to forgive leaves an open wound.
Often the only justice you'll receive is the kind you'll get when you refuse to let an old grudge continue to hurt you any more. Dropping that backpack and emptying those pebbles from your shoes will lighten you immeasurably for the rest of your journey.
Now your Chic Sedu hair style is ready, and you have a look of "world-is-at-my-feet: woman.Formal Sedu Hair Style Formal Sedu hair style is appropriate for special occasions like your in-laws parties, your friend's wedding, or corporate parties. It needs some formal dress of pastel, or contrast colors, that is white, black, or their combination, low-heeled shoes, strict hair style and formal pastel make-up.Though it is rather old-fashioned, formal style is usually the best choice for any occasion, except for the friends' disco parties or graduation ball. You have all comfort possible with simple and plain dress with knee-high straight skirt, and create impression of a serious and reliable person.Pastel make-up adds naturalness to the image, while low-heeled shoes give you the ability to feel your legs after long hours spent on feet.
Maybe it has to do with our normal need for attention. When we can pull an old grudge out, parade it in front of our friends or relatives, maybe we'll get some sympathy. Maybe they'll tell us how unfair life has been to us and that we're really a good person who didn't deserve such injustice.
Grudges don't hurt the person who wronged you. They hurt you. And when you carry them around, they become a torture instrument of the person who injured you in the first place, punishing you again and again every time you take the grudge out and go over it.
Got it? Great. Now put your arms through the straps and put it on your back.
The 'poor me' syndrome
Others will commiserate with us, pat us on the back and marvel at our bravery in holding up under such a load.