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22125469 2010 年 06 月 08 日 12:58 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Lei-sharing
(c) Planning fable: a piece of paper folded 51 times
Imagine your hands are a big enough white. Now, your task is to fold it 51 times. So, How high?
a refrigerator? Floor? Or a skyscraper so high? No, a big change, the thickness more than the distance between Earth and the Sun. Psychological Review】 【
to now, I get asked a dozen people in this fable, only two people said that this may be an unimaginable height, while others think of the height of the highest That is a tall skyscraper.
folded height of 51 such terror, but if only the 51 white paper stacked together?
This contrast made many people feel shocked. Because there is no direction, lack of planning in life, like the 51 White simple stacked. Doing this today, tomorrow little bit of that, every time there is no link between efforts. In this way, even if each work is done very well, they have your whole life is nothing but a simple superposition.
, of course, life is more complicated than this fable. Some people, life finds a simple direction and firmly to do so, they reached the other end of life unattainable height. For example, I have a friend for your life is English, he spent more than a decade efforts, only the memory of the word reached the amount of ten million and more, at this point to reach the average person can not match the height.
some people, and their direction in life is also very clear, for example, to start a company boss, so they need a lot of skills --- skills, management skills, communication skills, decision-making skills and so on. They may try doing this in the beginning, and try doing that, none is particularly proficient, but in the end, open the company boss in the direction of these seemingly scattered the previous integration efforts together, which is a kinds of complex folding in life, rather than simply additive.
Remember: the power of sight more useful than the invisible forces.
Now, the popular place to find the answer from the unseen, such as the potential development, such as Success, that we rely on some miracle of life can be saved. Through the planning use of existing capacity than tap the potential of the so-called more important.
(d) to avoid the fables: cat escape the shadow of the tricks
However, wherever you go, Tom and Toby found that, as long as the sun appeared, they will see that they are crazy for their own shadow.
However, Tom and Toby finally have found their own solutions. Tom is always close their eyes. Approach is to Toby, always stay in the shadows of other things.
【Comments】
mental note of this fable, a little mental problem is how to become more psychological problems.
can say that all psychological problems are derived from the distortion of the facts. What facts? Mainly the burden of those pieces of our pain.
because of the pain experience, we do not want to face the burden of cases. However, once occurred, the burden of this piece is destined to be with us for life, we can do them up but is repressed into the subconscious to go, this is the so-called forgotten.
However, their subconscious will still continue to play a role. And, even if we have forgotten the fact that powerful again, the pain associated with these facts would still attack us, let us somehow sad, and can not be suppressed. This pain Let us further effort to escape.
development to the end, the usual solution is to these two: either, as we like the cat Tom and completely distorting their experience of life in the real burden to have all the important turning a blind eye; or, we, like cat Toby the same, simply join their suffering, his own everything were very bad, since everything is so bad, that make their most original sad event is not so painful.
clouds mental hospital consultant, said Li Ling, 99% of patients had a painful experience. They reason for this is to allow yourself to escape the pain. It's like hide in the shadows, painful truth is a devil, the devil in order to avoid this, simply to sell itself to a greater devil. There are many alcoholism
adults, they have had an alcoholic and abusive father, father survive a lot of torture. To forget the pain, they learn the same way. In addition to these visible
wrong way, we humans have invented a myriad of all kinds of ways to escape suffering, Freud referred to these methods of psychological defense mechanisms. Too painful, these defense mechanisms is necessary, but worse, if the distortion of the facts of psychological defense mechanism is so intense, it will take a more psychological problems, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder, multiple personality, or even mental psychosis.
really only one way to reach a healthy --- face the pain. Facing the pain would get a lot from the pain of unexpected gains, they will eventually become the life of the party of wealth.
Remember: shadow and light, as are the wealth of life.
one of the most important psychological law is, no matter how painful, you are no escape. You can only go brave face it and resolve it, beyond it, and it finally reached a settlement. If you own a temporary shortage of power, you can find help, find friends and relatives for help, or seek professional help, accompany you trust with you to face the pain.
Rogers, American psychologist, was the most lonely person, but when he resolved to face this fact and after he became a true master of interpersonal relationships; American psychologist Frank has a brutal and alcoholic stepfather and a bad mother, but when he challenges the fact and, ultimately, from the heart to forgive his parents, he became an expert in this area treatment; Japanese psychologist Morita horse was being serious neurological disorder, but he challenges the fact and through Morita therapy eventually invented the ... ... their most painful fact of life eventually became their most important asset. You can do the same.
e) action fable --- crabs, owls and bats
crabs, owls and bats to cram on the habit. Few years later, they graduate and obtain a doctorate. However, the crab is still rampant, owls sleep during the day and evening activities are still the bat still hung upside down. Psychological Review】 【
This is even famous master of a fable, and its meaning is simple: action more important than knowledge.
used in mental health, this fable is also thought-provoking.
called profound knowledge of psychology. However, the more even the best knowledge of psychology help a person does not automatically become more healthy. In fact, I know some people who had studied psychology for many years, they learn one of the purposes of psychology is to rule themselves, but after so many years of school,
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reason why this happens, a very important reason is, they do not personally, just far away as the knowledge of knowledge, knowledge, and not into their own life experience.
one of my friends like psychology, has been considered less sensitive than those of psychology, not suitable for Psychology. But the fact is that speculation is not correct. He is not sensitive enough, but he has a very big advantage: to know a good knowledge immediately in their own lives to do it. As a result, the knowledge that becomes a distant real life experience, he does not
If we say that the quality of high sensitivity is a genius, then the power is more important Gao genius quality.
this fable can come out of another meaning: Do not expect too much the magic of the mysterious psychological treatment. Always the most important force in your own body, the mysteries of knowledge, the potential development of mysterious, dazzling success and so forth, are far inferior to the power of your own body has been important. We used to go outside to find the answer to someone else looking for strength, the results have forgotten the power in themselves.
Remember: other people's knowledge can not automatically save you.
punch if some renju touched you, if some text or a new creed inspired you. So, these other people's words and experience are just a start, more importantly, a good knowledge you think you really use in your own life to go. Jewish philosopher Martin Buber
these words, I have always considered the most important:
you have to start their own. If you do not love to go deep in a positive life, if you do not own way to reveal the meaning of life for themselves, then for you, life will remain meaningless.
(VI) to give the Fables: bees and flowers
withered roses, the bees are still hard suck, because it takes before sucking off from this little sweet. But now in this little to spend, the bees suck the venom.
bees know this, because the venom bitter taste is the big difference with the previous. Thus, bees anger, however, breathe on it the whole world looked up to complain about, why the taste changed? !
Finally one day, do not know why, bee vibrating wings, flying a bit high. At this time, it found, withered roses around the flowers everywhere. Psychological Review】 【
This is the fable about love, is a young language teacher of the true sentiment.
some time, she was falling out of love, painful, and always wanted to talk about me, I hope I can give her some knowledge of psychology help. We have some time, but almost two months later, the total time they can not happen to get together.
the last time about her, she said: The pain of lost love is still plagued her, let her trance, unable to enjoy the beauty of Jiuzhaigou. Inadvertently, she noticed a little on the honey bee is a flower. That moment, her mind like thunder and lightning appeared in one sentence: was such a silly, she's the bees in this sentence refers to her own course. That moment, she had to give up the truth out of insight. Previously, she wanted me to help her out, but in fact, the long wings in her own body, she can fly to fly.
give up is not easy to give up love, especially painful. Because, love is when our young copy of parent-child relationship. Small children, no matter from which side, parents can not do without. If a complete denial of his father and mother, and that means death for him, this is the ultimate harm and fear. We have experienced more or less been denied parents the pain and fear,
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However, compared to love and parent-child relationship, there is a huge difference: a child, nothing we can do, all parents have the final say; But now we grow up,
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However, when deeply in love, we will return to childhood, we forget that they have a pair of wings to fly. When we realize that, after their love is no longer automatically copy parent-child relationship, our love was free, there is a give up power.
Remember: Love is two things, two completely equal, independent and human dignity thing. You can work, but not that hard for you there will be results, because another person, you can not determine.
So, no matter how much you care about the time love, if another person determined to leave you, please respect his choice.
And also remember, you are no longer a child, are left with the pain of torture. You have grown up, you have a pair of powerful wings, you can fly out of a relationship has become poison.
(g) close to the fable: the unique Rose
Little Prince has a small planet, the planet suddenly blooming flower blooming roses. Previously, only some unknown on this planet the flowers, the little prince had never seen such beautiful flowers, he fell in love with this rose, carefully nurtured her.
those days, he thought, this is a unique flower on earth, only his only planet, other places do not exist.
, however, so he came to Earth and found that there is a garden just the same as 5000 of this flower. At this time, he knows that he only have an ordinary flower.
the beginning, this discovery, let the little prince was very sad. But in the end, the little prince to understand, although there are many roses in the world, but his planet tis is still unique because that rose, he had water, cover flowers to cover her with a screen protection over , in addition to her body caterpillars, but also to listen to her grumbled, or boasted, listening to silence her ... ... a word, and he tamed her, and she tamed him, she is his unique roses.
Psychological Review】 【
This is a French classic
face of 5000 roses, the little prince said: We are anxious to have. Seems that each has had a rose, the value of their own lives to Duoliaoyifen. Internet age, with several ten lover, is no longer a rare thing too. But I know who these promiscuous, no one is empty. They do not enjoy the relationship, they just enjoy the conquest.
However, the relationship between the United States, almost two inputs is the extent and degree to be tamed. When two people are naturally going into, naturally,
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However, no matter how close. The Little Prince is still Prince,
la lights, Rose is still a rose, they are still two individuals. Rose not to travel if the little prince, little prince or non-travel the roses with me, they have to stick together, the relationship is no longer enjoy,
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Remember: both a close and mutually independent relationship, the relationship is better than a thousand general. This relationship will bring us the sense of loneliness from the hopeless rescue is the most important in our lives a kind of salvation.
If you have not experienced, you can not know the beauty of this relationship.
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