GuoDeGang then a fashionable chip mocking Soccer

Virtual performers: GuoDeGang Yu Qian □ Written by: Liu Xuanshuai to

manly national team recently, the weekly reported in overwhelming readers also ambition to relax, to lend Mr. Guo and Mr. Yu bold mouth, devote a section of the aboriginal funny, if the two teachers to individually show, of course, is the best. Funny everybody is elated, no purpose to offend anybody.

GuoDeGang: I am a Chinese national team coach.

Yu Qian: not seen you playing football, how can you on?

GuoDeGang: Competition for ah!

Yu Qian: Chinese Football Association how idea you?

GuoDeGang: New South head to adore ah! I heard that competitive culling, led all football people are out, lined up to greet me!

Yu Qian: As for it?

GuoDeGang: South head to see me shaking hands with both hands in a hurry, : No!

GuoDeGang: I was so touched, tears Shua on down, I said South head, some good competition for me, I must ... ... (weeping)

Yu Qian: that competition for very strict right , just to say?

GuoDeGang: That is very rigid, the premier interview, introduction team led ideas, and then to be written and, finally, in practice, the Football Association do not know where I am invited to watch a bunch of old man, see I am scared straight.

Yu Qian: old man who should be judges.

GuoDeGang: I after learned, they are the referees. Beginning community barricade team thought of it, one eye staring at me like I stole someone they like.

Yu Qian: You see favor a good male.

first hurdle: the interview

GuoDeGang: First, is the first off the interview. It is my strong point off ah!

Yu Qian: For you, ah,Nike Shox Dreams!

GuoDeGang: Seeing people and dogs lower it, you forget that I am Gansha it?

Yu Qian: You are not recited it?

GuoDeGang: ah, fluent!

Yu Qian: This play does not stuff with ah!

GuoDeGang: Yu Qian teacher you are too lessen, what is lacking Chinese football, the coach on the gap we go ah!

Yu Qian: This is not studied.

GuoDeGang: Milutinovic then why guide the Chinese national team World Cup qualifying, and because he was eloquent!

Yu Qian: never heard of.

郭德纲: Tell you a secret, in fact, Milutinovic has a comic's grandfather would say ... ...

Yu Qian: or depart it you,Nike Shox TL3!

GuoDeGang: Chinese players are too tense, and a dozen games to quake, then you have to get on the floor did not play 2, later playing more nervous, a nervous operation on the deformation, a distortion is erratic, and can not lose it?

Yu Qian: how still sick?

GuoDeGang: lessons from deep ah, you see the Olympic team in the Olympics last year, more perverted, while kick people while beating, while also curse ... ... typical manic ah!

Yu Qian: This namely no regular!

GuoDeGang: So, I decided to give the national team, then talk.

Yu Qian: Why ah? Have cancer it?

郭德纲: You only have sarcoma of it,Nike Shox TL1, I recited to them, let them loosen.

Yu Qian: such a lot to talk about.

GuoDeGang: let them stable state of idea, haha ​​a happy, oh, ah coach this comic amusement! On the relaxed state of mind, not accessible perverted.

Yu Qian: do not say, your expression is a little fact.

GuoDeGang: Then, a white-bearded old man asked me, how to strengthen the national team's punishment.

Yu Qian: This is a problem, and now a lot of players do not obey along the rules, but also secretly go to open house too!

GuoDeGang: not hard work ah! Summarizes the courses of the Chinese team fails, the coach is insufficient to rely on call!

Yu Qian: I rely on?

GuoDeGang: by cut ah!

Yu Qian: This is the national team coach do?

GuoDeGang: emphasis on discipline Well, after exercising and competition, coaches back a machete, who is the fixing of matches, who do not toe the line, who go out without approval, and it's about! Arrest which cut what!

Yu Qian: that the national team does not run the light, ah? Run not only let you chopped down!

GuoDeGang: he challenged, caught give them buried alive.

Yu Qian: Do you have this Bifaxisi vicious ah. Then you are left with disabilities over how to do cut, it can play it?

GuoDeGang: football in China who do not understand a wicked football team, people apart from everything another, do not listen to cut, run caught on buried living, look at the people's team, the actors are hard not to disburse melodrama, alone, mangled a few athletes last year, people still dodge relegation in the Super success.

Yu Qian: there is this object? I only heard of a Kinder team ah!

GuoDeGang: Whether Kinder Silver Germany, coach people like me anyway, is not born to play!

Yu Qian: also narrated it?

GuoDeGang: No, the concert drum.

Yu Qian: I really never heard of.

GuoDeGang: Italy not to sell two meters team?

Yu Qian: sell rice?

GuoDeGang: what to sell AC meters, an international sell-meter.

Yu Qian: it is AC Milan and Inter Milan. You blind the one ball.

GuoDeGang: International selling rice that is not heard the coach came to play, yet also out of track mingle, selling what forgot called what, words, Mussolini! Yes! Mussolini!

Yu Qian: Hitler still do?

GuoDeGang: there called Hitler? Selling what?

Yu Qian: it is Jose Mourinho, the original is act the translation.

GuoDeGang: No matter what the turn, because it is too turned to Inter Milan is golden on both sides, the entrance fragile, sweet and savory.

Yu Qian: You're pancakes also come up.

GuoDeGang: But this is too few to face the old man finally gave me a zero, it's obvious to tease me?

Yu Qian: angry no use, and quickly to the next bar.
second hurdle: the written

GuoDeGang: the next level, written test, this tin be complicated.

Yu Qian: you do not have football academic foundation ah!

GuoDeGang: a test on more than 3 hours ah, give me a ride Yo, waist plates to the middle.

Yu Qian: 太夸张了吧!

GuoDeGang: unscrupulous examiners do not know what so many questions out, selling 5 pounds of garbage paper can be sold.

Yu Qian: the quantity of questions is a huge point, you answer it was very difficult, right?

GuoDeGang: too difficult, look up the light on the use of two and a half hours!

Yu Qian: Three-hour exam, you look up search for two and a half hours?

GuoDeGang: I do not retard go? This is a question of simply illiterate ah, I sweep from scratch to end, how one can not read it, the question of how human would not mention it, so I finished the non-death-defying not detect him.

Yu Qian: it is you do not have civilization!

GuoDeGang: The maximum annoying is that I fair had the first question always the words are acknowledged myself, was going to pick up the pen prepared to jot, test end peal rang.

Yu Qian: ah? You did not answer a question ah?

GuoDeGang: I was too reduced, and two exam s duck, too shame.

Yu Qian: a bit a disgrace!

GuoDeGang: But I can proudly tell you, I had a long capability!

Yu Qian: What skill?

GuoDeGang: Through this examination, more than 40 years old in my life where, with two hours educated to look up!

Yu Qian: ah? So you will not even use a dictionary ah!

GuoDeGang: I tend to do my two hours, hard simmering I taught myself the lexicon!

Yu Qian: the nerve to say!
Third off:

GuoDeGang train exam: The last exam has eventually come.

Yu Qian: Finally, the practical exam.

GuoDeGang: those few annoying old man seemed, let me say a 13-year-old team tactics, but also play with them!

Yu Qian: This is quite hard ah!

GuoDeGang: I was called over a dozen children, well, brothers, and today I take you on a boss level, you gave me to listen well, when whether the God who walk, who fulfilled poorly , and that did not (shook the hands of fans), I cut a Who!

Yu Qian: You're not threatening you?

GuoDeGang: this cheat very serviceable, small children and all of a aboveboard! Does have a very strong in both costly no how, I have been looking at it, the two still do melody, said: Daner newborn.

GuoDeGang: I prodigy ah, this is not the age of 13 teams do, and maybe at least a seventeen-year-old!

Yu Qian: age appears to be changed.

GuoDeGang: I say, and maybe quite Niua children, narrate me,

GuoDeGang: I accelerate to regret,

GuoDeGang: not soft can do it, people are ball Pa ah! I want this mix, must anticipate people to dine it.

Yu Qian: This is the team where the ball Pa ah!

GuoDeGang: But maybe the child was very benevolent, br> Yu Qian: ah? You gave the people knelt down?

GuoDeGang: I do not bend also lay it?

Yu Qian: you quickly lecture now!

GuoDeGang: I saw all the kid that are closely knitted around the two ball Pa.

Yu Qian: This time no one fearful of you.

GuoDeGang: Members Boss,Nike Shox NZ, brother Bucai today, in this competition for the Chinese national team coach, I wish the boss to give a face, since we together make a luck, a luck with ah!

Yu Qian: You're changing faster Intuit. Quickly test it!

GuoDeGang: Yes, test! This play, ah, pay consideration to

GuoDeGang: Oh yes, the boss you forgive me, forgive me, ah, ah Donglaishun we will be ended, I ask, I ask ah!

Yu Qian: Do not ridiculousness, they must test it.

GuoDeGang: This play ah, pay attention to is the

Yu Qian: This sounds sly, is how to explain?

GuoDeGang: team boss out of prostitution, you do not make pass; newspaper for the nailing of matches must be controlled in-house; if you lose the game you must quickly run to the beat Do not let the fans; last technical action must pay attention to safety ... ... ... ...

Yu Qian: Do you have what this shambles is simply ruined football.

GuoDeGang: worried eye on a few children, and afresh I am on the ground beating.

Yu Qian: deserve, you're right too outrageous.

GuoDeGang: two side kick also led the side that curse it, a!

GuoDeGang: ah my bruises!

Yu Qian: This is also how to test ah?

GuoDeGang: Thanks to those few I plucked the old man came out good and bad. Father was a very penniless me, informed me to one side to solace me while ah,

GuoDeGang: too wrong, the last test subjects also smashed.

Yu Qian: Do not drip it while pigs fly!

GuoDeGang: how do I run a hot pate that had to suffer. Taking advantage of not 1 placarded I fast slipped out, it seems namely Chinese football is not really as uncomplicated as I thought ah.

Yu Qian: Yes, ah, if simple, could degenerate to such an extent it?

GuoDeGang: I was going to do,Nike Shox Torch, and suddenly someone hurrahed backward me,

GuoDeGang: I looked back,Nike Shox Sko, horrified, to see which led head south to aid the children there are those few old man came in behind to catch up.

Yu Qian: What occurred and a child?

GuoDeGang: I do not react, I saw a Ehupusi head south took prop of me.

Yu Qian: This is not starving, head south because several days?

GuoDeGang: I watch more than ah,

GuoDeGang: I said, I do not adviser the citizen group is not enough rivalry for you, Grandpa let me appeal you a course out it ... I ashore the eighteen-year-old mother, daughter below 80 annuals old ... ...

Yu Qian: This is what a mess!

GuoDeGang: South head pointed at my nostril and shout ? This is how the matter son?

GuoDeGang: South side of the head while playing also curse it, br> Yu Qian: ah? On a competition for you ah!