Because you do not criticize! - Qzone log
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Reprinted from 991306567 at 21:40 on October 6, 2010 Reading (loading. ..) Comments (0) Category: Personal Diary
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; child why not listen? Because you do not criticize!
; ; a netizen sent me this article, it is worth reading!
Why not work
criticism ----- child made a mistake, God will forgive. The reason why parents can not forgive the total child, probably too far away from God because of it! Everyone makes mistakes, but unfortunately, in reality, only a child made a mistake may be more susceptible to criticism. Why? Because children often make mistakes? Wrong! Because small children do not understand, easy to make mistakes? Wrong! Because our parents eyes always follow the child's presence. Yes ah! Basically, all of the behavior the child can not escape the grasp of their parents. Accidentally fell on the ground, my mother would say: \things, there will be a voice said: \Like a storm of criticism, the hearts of the men were greatly displeased, can not any way! Had only silently suffer in silence, for the brave few may be top of the mouth, but this will provoke derided, it might be sobbing about pity. Oh! Instrument allows even more incredibly, the parents will also shouted, \Why do you always keep critics from morning to night? Why would the same issues are often criticized? Is it because children do not obey? Ignorance? Too many problems? Have you ever thought: Why not work to your criticism? Some people lament, life is difficult! More difficult for a woman to do! I think you must now also like to say a mother is more difficult Leia! Every day to the janitor's room to get my subscription to the magazine and newspapers. There are an old lady on duty, and her granddaughter have come here often after school. One day, I routinely pick up the newspaper, go after the little girl is seen lying on the table doing their homework, while the old lady is being learned her granddaughter: \rewritten, that have to rewrite,
ecco shoes womens! \And that little girl tightly ineffectively lips, eyes, tears still quietly, reluctantly erased just written words. I looked at the ground before the curious, the original vocabulary is the kind of job training, asked to write many times each word, but meters the vocabulary words written on the boxes, see, this little girl just to go to school soon. Some can write pretty good, and some words written on the really rather ugly, is not a word in the m inclined to hang the boxes, or simply put \I thought to myself, written as it is no wonder, just started it! My old lady Bijiao Shu, and even her little granddaughter's name I know, called Yingge. So I said: \; I said: \I picked up her exercise book, said: \I think her book. I then asked again: \press with fingers to tender a word of them. I saw that word really is good, and then asked again: \with, if not all of the finish so the little girl away from my hands fast work of this, one of them badly written word quickly cleaned off. I applaud nodded say: \forced girl nodded, quickly write this on a character, was supposed to be full, stand tall and good character. I gently patted her head and said: \. The old lady was surprised when he said: \. \
criticism as a means of education, the purpose is to allow children to know the wrong reasons, to avoid or correct later.
But in fact, many parents have such an experience, and kids to learn to say that reason does not work, criticism is not useful, but also anxious and beat still does not work, how to do the effect is not good! Anyway, it is: say no to listen to, scolded useless! And beat, a burst pipe! Think now is the time parents. Children make mistakes, and in the end how to control? How to educate children? Wrong, you should criticize it?
1? useless criticism let us look at the parents of a child in the criticism of several phenomena and characteristics.
(1) criticism of emotional
fault occurs when a child if the parents are usually emotional expression, pale, dancing, recited, eyes straight, high decibel sound, language, speed fast, standing in the rain has really hearty! Well, finished, Ma Wan, the heart is also happy, and also balanced. And you may not know, headed waste of breath when growing up, most of them children, calculating mind is: \suddenly stopped and asked: \so happy just to get it over to perfunctory storm. If you have the camera, then the parents look at their expressions and manifestations, really can be said to bear witness ah! The child would often not be able to tell you Daobei down, that is, do not know what you said. Only know one thing: I was wrong, so you call me! Even the error caused by guilt, anxiety has vanished along with the roar of criticism. Because they understand that the Ma Wan in general will all right! Children and interested only thing to do is to wait and wait for the end of Zhefan blame! The end result is the \You can expect this more emotional catharsis with a personal, subjective criticism of how much effect? In fact, many times, silence is more effective than such criticism. Purpose of criticism is to make children aware of their problems, understand and accept the right advice and action to correct. As analysis and evaluation of a fault should be very rational. In this process, the starting point temper unavoidable point of complaints can also be accepted for any errors measured the vent. Imagine how such a mood to win the respect of the child, how to convince their children, how children can listen to it?
(2) criticized the proliferation of the times, our parents criticized the child, impassioned voice, speech rate fast, the brain active, thinking, jump, think rich and labeling. For example, a bowl was originally a play thing, you can think of from this past lost keys, losing money these days, loss of face (because the test badly in the exam), but also side-tracked fighting, watching TV, playing games. In short, as long as you can think of things like the movie to replay the same shot. Be described, informative, quote the classics, straight right over the pages of children eyelids, mouth of a write, twist his neck, his head low, I thought: Yam Yam you love it! Not too thirsty? Humph! Criticism should be targeted, what the current issues say, matter-like, but must not blame the fault, and it gets past the old account can be counted. This perception of \It is amusing is that the parents she spoke often stopped, and how it? Turned out to be all of a sudden forget what to say! Had self-mockery when he said: \
(3) simplify a lot of criticism when the children make mistakes, parents are often the criticism of the performance of the time does not criticize should not criticize when criticism of chaos. Many parents have encountered the phenomenon of child stay in bed, often urging the side, while chatter, and the child has this as the background noise. Did not play a critical role. Because the child is very clear that if the walk on the Society of late, parents must be a way to get children to school on time, a car can get, no car can take a taxi ah. Had a parent ask me how to do this? I said very simple, you are no matter he finished, there will be late for school criticized him naturally. There are various ways because you can not let him late, to assume the consequences of the shield a child stay in bed, so he have the confidence to calmly stay in bed, you call him what purpose? There are many situations like these, is that parents do only criticism of the phenomenon, but did not take practical and effective solutions.
(4) impatience of criticism so many times, children will not even realize that an error or has arrived, can not be acutely aware of the error can bring and what the consequences, our parents have been eager, to fight a gas is not usually your eyes, mouth and even the hands up. \Furthermore, \People make mistakes is normal, but the first time through, when something wrong is normal! However, parents did not give children enough time and space to experience errors, try to setbacks, the children do not even know where they went, criticism and blame has been followed. This anxious for quick success and impetuosity of criticism, often stifle children's creativity, limiting the child's development.
why many children lack interest in learning it? Is due to parents early in the learning activities to interfere too much intervention, frequent interventions, trivial to judge, inexplicable criticisms have led children to learn fear, boredom and psychological reactance.
2? criticism when mistakes when the child first, you only need to tell him why he was wrong, how to do is right on the line. In the guide, when the child can maintain a respectful attitude towards him and respect your opinion, patient and meticulous explanations make him understand the causes and consequences of error, understanding emotions so that he will not be bound by the shadow of failure. If the child made a similar mistake again, perhaps not familiar with the child the right way, maybe not enough depth to let him ignore the lessons. We should first analyze the reasons of his, if it is the first case, we must make it clear, that know things, give him a chance to do; If the latter, should it be appropriate to his criticism.
3? What should be criticized or contact the child start new things, because of inadequate understanding, lack of preparation , behavior is not reasonable, out of bias and error is also reasonable. This time the need is help, not criticism! The first mistake is understandable, the second wrong can understand, then to tolerate the wrong. At this time it is reasonable to criticize! I like the word, \So criticism is for attitude, not for things themselves; criticism for repeated and repeated,
ecco shoes, and to give children the opportunity the first error correction. But our parents are often reflected in the criticism when the culprit, it makes children feel very frustrated! When the error appears again, and problems, such as the transcript is not ideal to get back, parents are not with the children calmly analyze the reasons, more blame is the performance itself, for their dissatisfaction vent to the child, which is very conducive to blind children to accept criticism and correction.
4? how to criticize and let us take an actual case to illustrate, there is a middle school boy was playing electronic games, often skipping classes, this is of homework, parents are anxious, then how to do it?
(1) Primarily, the prime reason to say this child is achievement can, but relatively poor self-control, to foresee the consequences of inadequate Therefore, the time may want went out to play the game. When this happens, parents should be patient and explain the consequences of doing so, but also to express the child's trust and expectations. It is important to understand that this approach children what irregularities! And must not be angry, cursed at every turn! John? Locke said, \
(2) repeat offenders should be agreed upon, but the child ran into the opportunity to go out and play the game, but succumbed to temptation, and stole the went out to play the game. Parents should tell him to do tough is not enough. He once again in view of such an error occurs, it is necessary and children agreed a program and asked the child as a guarantee, and said that if offense,
ecco shoes clearance, he will accept any kind of punishment. Of course, mutually acceptable solution. The same must not be angry, cursed at every turn! Here I would like to note is that more children than adults stresses \In such a trust and respect, the children difficult to repeat, even want to play, and parents will greet beforehand.
(3) commit to punish their children be children, of course, he made a mistake. However, parents have two options, one to remain silent and let him know you already know what happened, and told him that you retain the right to punish, but do not intend to implement. Or under contract, so that children Jiannuo, accept the punishment and let him out again if the offense, he how to do! The same must not be angry, cursed at every turn! Through the above approach, the children where the nerve to be wrong! Of course, I have talked a lot with this boy, learned that his parents did not let him play, so I have to do with his parents, consultations, that is, at a fixed time each week to allow him to play the game, in the specific implementation of the process in case there have been repeated, but before long, the children no longer absences from school, and even within the specified time to play less games. Later,
ecco women shoes, the students told me that he had to play the game not only because of pleasure, but also his family to gas gas! I talked about in the preface, the child is due to parents more errors caused by improper cultivation. Because of mistakes and failures, the children have been punished, have felt the pain and misfortune, the parents do not find their own reasons, how have the nerve to the child angry? So out of the problem, the response and performance of the parents is very important, if more blame is subjective, emotional control, anger and abuse, it is very rude and incompetent,
ecco shoes uk, is the lack of manners, lack of understanding, lack of trust, lack of education performance capabilities, this will only let the children look down. So the so-called dialogue and exchange of criticism or dominated, but is more emphasis on thinking and action on the wrong thought and examination, to solve problems and avoid mistakes happening again, there is also a critical conventions and requirements of the dialogue.
When children make a mistake, the parents should first ask yourself what's wrong! What they have done enough? So I often recommend parents and children can first say \Many parents have taken my advice, later told me that when the children say \are all unpleasant and the gap was that the tears wash out.
put reasonable as long as the parents, then the child does not want to listen to your words it is difficult -
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