e muzzled face pointed at hershe sitting all loose and at easehalf her
attention on the food cooking for lunchcontinually rushing off to the telephone on Party
business- he patientlyangrilywaiting through each telephone call until she came back. And at
the end of the long fighthe had talked himself into a decision that he should be a conscientious
objector; and now his attack on her was linked with this position-the militarism of the Soviet
Unionetc. When he went upstairsannouncingas if this came naturally from what went before
that he intended to marry very young and have a large familyMolly let herself go limp into
exhaustion and then began to cry. I came upstairs to give Janet her lunch. Disturbed. Because
Molly and Richard make me think of Janet's father. As far as I am concerned this was a highly
neurotic stupid involvement of no importance. No amount of repeating phrases like: the father
of my childcan make me feel different about it. One day Janet is going to say: 'My mother was
married to my father for a yearthen they divorced.' And when she is older and I've told her the
truth: 'My mother lived with my father for three years; then they decided to have a baby and
married so I should not be illegitimat,
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