People (like you?) who do not communicate effectively are people who are telling others, clear as crystal, that they are superior to you; that their time is more valuable than yours... and that these lesser folk need wait (and happily so) and wait and wait some more until you condescend to respond.
Poor communicators (with the probability strong that you are one of them) exhibit these traits:
Poor communicators are slothful.
3) Be clear on where you can be reached. Assume the person you are communicating with does not have this vital intelligence. State it clearly,
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Yet is the world of the non communicators made up solely and exclusively of the arrogant and slothful? Certainly not. It is also, and in significant numbers, the preserve of the shy,
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For them a single word: study.
4) Be willing to try again if the person you are trying to reach (even if that person initiated the communication) fails to respond. Remember, empathy is the basis for successful communications.
Bold and even impious, I now advise you (while great Shakespeare rolls in his grave) to change the word "mercy" to "communications,
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(The Merchant of Venice. Act 4, scene 1.)
1) Learn empathy, that crucial ability to enter into the minds and hearts of the people you are to communicate with. What is it they are expecting from you? Deliver that, to the furthest extent possible, and you have the essential element of success.
5) Above all else,
Chanel, never stop improving your knowledge of communication and its techniques. In this golden age of communications, the overwhelming majority of loaves and fishes will go to the communicating elite... those who make it a point to master communications and steadily enhance their knowledge and expertise. Make that person you!
2) Be prompt about responding. In an age of instant communications,
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All too often the communication stops and is not extended because of unadulterated sloth. It takes work to communicate... it takes work to conceive a message and deliver that message. It takes work to be prepared and move matters to their next stage. However the slothful communicator can and does think of a myriad of "reasons" why he can obliterate the communications process without remorse. Thus he goes blithely on with his affairs while others, fuming, apply language which is ever more blue as time passes and their legitimate reasons for communicating go without any response whatsoever. Oh, my!
Good communicators, effective communicators realize that the business of communicating is like a tennis match. The ball must always be in motion between the communicator and those he wishes to communicate with. When the ball stops moving, the communication stops with it. The person who has stopped the communicating process is , by definition, the lazy, inhibiting one.
Arrogance. The human animal is a selfish animal, conceived in selfishness and nurtured in the belief that the Great Me, the universe-centered I Am is the most important animal anywhere at any time. As a result,
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A special cycle of hell
Help for the socially challenged and shy johns and janes everywhere.
The quality of mercy is not strain'd, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes.
The quality of communications is not strain'd... it is twice blessed..."
The quality of communications is not strained...
I just received this article from Dr Jeffery Lant. Dr Lant is internationally known for a number of his outstanding accomplishments and is a highly respected author of many top selling books. This article on communication is stated in a way that is so direct and maybe offensive to many, but as my life unfolded I believe that it will be of benefit to anyone who cares to make life changes in their life. I have found that the communication breakdown does in fact destroy everything that we hod close. I urge you to read his words carefully!
There is one thing and only one thing which sets us apart and elevated from animals of every kind and place... and that one thing is communicating. So, if you truly wish to learn, improve and foster rather than retard communications,
Gianmarco Lorenzi, here is what you must learn and do.
It's time to call a spade a spade. We are members of the most communications savvy and personally wired generation ever. Even the tiniest mite has her cell phone with camera. Yet the truth is,
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Such people by their behavior and non responsiveness clearly indicate that you and your concerns are, by definition, of infinitely less consideration than theirs. And that you'd best be glad for the little you get, for it is infinitely more than you deserve.
Your last task for today is to give a copy of this article to every substandard and inadequate communicator you can. The task at hand, training communicators and enhancing their skills, is a lifetime affair. Start it now. There is so very much to do and so many who need the help.
Give this article to the communicating challenged. They need it so.
You, being an educated soul, are no doubt familiar with Portia's famous speech:
You know this... but you do not act accordingly. Which is why this (shall we say) motivating article is so necessary and why you should take every single word to heart and make radical adjustments in your lamentable behavior.
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
For the intractable, for the miscreants arrogant and slothful who will not change, an idea: for them: a special cycle of hell wherein they are asked such questions as "are you hungry?" or "are you feeling hot and uncomfortable?" These hungry and uncomfortable miscreants answer and answer and answer. But response comes there none,
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And so it is. Good communications are good for the recipient and for the sender too.